The Internet Family Reunion

I am blessed to be part of an internet-based mothers group. That could probably be read two ways – we are internet-based moms (true!) and we are part of a group that meets on the internet (also true). The Internet is for many things, but one of my favorite parts is community building. I’m an XNFP and a Gemini. On any given day, I can be either an Introvert or an Extrovert – and sometimes a little in between. The Internet allows me to switch between the INFP and ENFP personalities fairly seamlessly. It’s a blessing to me because it allows me to be present without the whole social anxiety issue taking over.

It is also a blessing to get to know so many wonderful people. Many people say that the Internet is causing people to be increasingly isolated from each other. How can that be possible, when every day people gather in chat rooms and on message boards to share their lives with each other? My life has been enriched and enlarged by being a part of these groups. People I would not have otherwise met are now a part of my circle of friends. Facebook has also brought me back in touch with old friends from high school and college. Email allows me to stay in touch with friends and family. SmugMug gives me a place to share my pictures (when I remember to upload them). Blogspot and LiveJournal give me a place to post my opinions. All of these things could be accomplished without the Internet. It just makes it so much easier to do them and to share them with others.

So how can the Internet be a bad thing? Consider this: my heart is heavy today, and it is all the Internet’s fault. If the Internet didn’t exist, I would never have gotten to know Stacey McDaniel. I would never had experienced her courage, love, and strength. I never would’ve laughed at her stories or cooed over pictures of her children. I never would’ve prayed fervently for her during her long battle with brain cancer. I never would have been sitting here thinking of her children’s future without her.

Stacey is one of the gutsiest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. She never let things get her down for long. Her attitude will always inspire me. She was so tough, so strong, so loving that it seemed she could conquer anything. So now, I prefer to believe that the brain tumor didn’t win – she won. How could she not? She was Superwoman to me and so many others. A community that would not have existed without the Internet is grieving. We are, in a way, a family. Some have met in person, others not. Yet the power of friendship and community holds us together. Stacey was a part of that family. She is greatly missed.

When I heard the news of Stacey’s passing, I could not help but think of another member of my Internet family. Kathy Woltman was a member of the November 98 Topaz Treasures, my very first Internet moms’ group. The group has since disbanded, but I still think of it often. It’s easy – it was such an integral part of my first years as a mom. Kathy was an inspiration and a life-saver for me. I was having my first baby; Kathy, her fourth. She had a lot of experience and was always willing to share it with the rest of us. Moms groups are a lot like any other family – we laugh, we cry, we fight, we learn, and we love. We lean on each other a lot.

After Kathy had her fourth, she experienced her first bout of post partum depression. At the same time, I was going through my first. I was in denial, Kathy tackled hers. We both made it through. More importantly, Kathy once again shared her experience. Her willingness to describe her experience in detail and to post it on the Internet helped me to recognize what was going on after I had my second child. I got help that time, and the next time. Kathy’s words inspired and comforted me. It hurts my heart and soul to know that ultimately we couldn’t do the same for her.

Not too long ago, I read one of those “Chicken Soup for the Soul” stories. In it, someone’s friends had died. The person eventually made it beyond their grief by deciding to live for her friends, because they did not have the opportunity.

“We who must remain, go on living just the same. We who must remain, go on laughing just the same.” The Eagles, “My Man”

So, no – the Internet is truly a blessing. Without it, I would never had gotten to know these two incredible women and my life would be so much smaller and darker – if it existed at all. May God bless Stacey and Kathy – you’ll be in my heart forever. Amen.