Mom 102

Inappropriate Girl

2011-04-03T10:23:00.000-04:00

Should I say that? No. Did that ever stop me?

You see, I have this tendency to say whatever comes to mind. I should think twice about what I'm about to say, but often I just don't give a damn what people think. That's one of the advantages of being 40 - I care a lot less about what others think of me. Freedom! (well, sort of.)

Anyway, that tendency is why my husband calls me "Inappropriate Girl." I took it one step further and bought the domain name. You'll find me here now. Cheers!

Kitchen Adventures

2010-02-19T09:21:00.000-05:00

There's nothing quite like being snowed in. You have nowhere to go and even if you did, you couldn't get there anyway. The only thing (well, not the only thing...) left to do is cook. And cook we did, all throughout Snowmageddon 2010 - soups, stews, bread, cookies, cupcakes, marshmallows, sausage...lots and lots of yumminess. None of the recipes we used involved any of the ingredients A can't have: wheat, dairy, eggs, soy, corn, chocolate, peanuts, or potatoes (I've given up on mentioning watermelon - it's a non-issue). If the original recipe did, we substituted ingredients she could have. This really only seems like an achievement when you look through the average cookbook. Nearly every recipe has one or more of these ingredients. We've had to get really creative and we're having a ton of fun with it.

Ok, so it's not all fun. Some of the recipes are definitely not hits. Take last night's dinner: Santa Fe Chicken Chili. BUMD and I loved it; the kids, not so much. In times like these, I feel the need to create a 'make-up dinner' (yes, kinda like make-up sex). I'm still trying to figure out what tonight's will be. If I'd really planned well, we'd have had a 'make-up dessert': something really lush and yummy to make up for not having something they liked for dinner. Offering something else to A for dinner isn't really an option. There's only so much she can eat and we're trying to keep her diet as varied as possible (the other two just have to suck it up as a show of unity). I'm sure that this'll result in many stories about how their mother tried to make them eat healthily and ewwwww, so gross! That's probably a rite of passage - they're just getting a lot of miles on it.

In the meantime, they've become quite spoiled. There's nothing quite like having freshly-baked treats and hot, home cooked meals all day, every day. A's food challenges may have made our lives more complicated, but they've also made things more delicious. I'll try to share our cooking adventures a little more often. We're blessed with a bounty of good resources from the Internet. The food bloggers of the world are my heroes. Thank you!

Nine down, ??? to go

2010-01-30T09:59:00.003-05:00

So I said I'd cry if this happened, but it doesn't seem worth it. A is off of wheat now too. For right now, she can't eat anything that has these ingredients: wheat, dairy, soy, eggs, corn, potatoes, watermelon, peanuts, or chocolate. The good news is that we're going to try and reintroduce either corn, potatoes, or chocolate in a couple of weeks. Given that it'll be Valentine's Day, I'm voting for the chocolate. Watermelon is a non-issue; she doesn't like it anyway.

We're eating a lot of good meats, fruits, and veggies - in short, a very healthy diet. No problem with that. I bought some more alterna-flours and I'm going to try bake some cookies today. This could be fun. My grocery bill is huge. I need to plan my garden for the summer. Thank goodness for the internet too - there's a ton of great recipes out there. I haven't food a decent one for bread...yet. Maybe I'll just have to make one.

That said, I'd like to eliminate the term "allergy free." Really, a recipe for water? 'Cause that's the only thing I can find that's non-allergenic. People have a vast array of allergies. There's no "allergy-free" recipe database that's going to take care of them all. I prefer the term "allergy friendly" because there's less of a chance I'll be let down. The last time I clicked on the featured recipe from an allergy free site, the recipe contained several ingredients we couldn't use. I know you can't please everyone all of the time, but we could compromise, right?

In the meantime, we're getting creative around here. It will be fun!

Updates as they happen

2010-01-19T20:54:00.000-05:00

I've been slacking on updating the blog, but at least BUMD has been keeping up with things. In case you're wondering:

The fifth First Annual Holiday Letter

...what happened after the letter went out (or, why holiday letters should wait until after the year ends).

From there, I should probably start updating more. Gotta get these thoughts out of my head!

How to Preserve your sanity in Modern Day Times and Places

2009-12-25T10:36:00.002-05:00

1. Begin each day cheerfully and unhurriedly.
2. If you feel sad, try to bluff it and act happy.
3. Calmly accept the problems of the day.
4. Avoid negative and useless worries. They only cause ulcers.
5. Substitute positive thoughts and emotions.
6. “Age Quod Agis” (Do what you are doing; That which you do, do well)
7. Hand nobody the right to depress you emotionally. It’s much more fun if you do it yourself.
8. Follow a moral code you believe in. (It doesn’t have to be Mommy’s or Daddy’s either!!!)
9. Cultivate a sense of humor and proportion.
10. Meditate daily and recreate reasonably often.

On the Subject of Labeling

2009-12-25T10:29:00.001-05:00

It's clean-up time and I'm moving some stuff over from my other journal.

I originally wrote this in January, 2004.
__________________________________________

"What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think." – Emerson

I guess this is a sensitive topic for me. My three-year-old son was just diagnosed as having a "Biologically-Based Disinhibition Disorder"; that is, ADHD. This diagnosis comes as no surprise to those who know him well. C. has always been unique in many ways. It's difficult to adequately describe how we knew that something about him was more unique than other children. From his behavior to his speech, something was definitely amiss. We had him evaluated first by the school system's Child Find program. They indicated that he had delays in receptive and expressive speech, social and emotional growth, as well as gross and fine motor delays. They said that ADHD was a strong possibility. From there we went to a neurologist who sent us to a neuropsychologist. After extensive testing, the neuropsychologist pronounced C. to be a very bright little boy with ADHD.

For us, the diagnosis was confirmation of what we had already suspected. Our attitude is, here's our answer, now what can we do about it. In the coming months we will be working with a behavioral management specialist, among others. Whatever we can learn and do to make all of our lives better, we'll do. Knowing that he has ADHD clarifies why he sometimes behaves the way he does. It also lets us learn how we can best deal with him.

The strange part of this comes about when we let others know about his ADHD. For us it is a way of explaining why he seems so beyond energetic and outgoing. "Disinhibition" ought to be C.'s middle name - he's never met a stranger and thinks nothing of sitting on a complete stranger's lap and starting a conversation. Another ADHD description, "runs as if driven by a motor", also suits C. He is as rough and tumble as a little boy can get, except sometimes more so. Our neighbor, when discussing this with me, explained that she thought too many kids were diagnosed and that C. was just a typical little boy. But! Her son “was never like that” . Oh, and her daughter, who is C.'s age, is afraid of C. Wow, thanks. Just because ADHD is over diagnosed, doesn't mean he doesn't have it.

But I digress. Too many people are astonished that we'd allow someone to "label" such a young child. What, like we hadn't already? "C. E." was his first label, followed closely by "Big Man", "Destructo Boy", and “Conzilla” . His personal favorite is "C. Shine", which must always be followed by his song. He is an amazingly cheerful little boy who is enthusiastic about every success. Anyone who looks only at his ADHD "label" and ignores his beautiful smile and sweet disposition is missing out. Of course, their vision may be clouded by having been on the receiving end of one of his hair-pulling or shoving episodes. Or maybe they've had to chase after him as he ran out of the classroom. His teachers still manage a smile at the end of their day with him. They see the boy, not the diagnosis. Why can't everyone else?

The other concern that I've heard is, “I know the way people talk about ADHD kids. I don't want my child to be one of the kids they're talking about”. My guess is, if your child is exhibiting the kind of behaviors that would lead someone to suggest the child be evaluated for ADHD, it's too late. Trust me, people are already talking about the child. Know that the people talking about those kids are petty, narrow-minded folk. Anyone who judges a person based on their medical condition is an idiot who does not deserve my respect or consideration. There, I said it. If you can't handle childish behavior, get out of the field that causes you to deal with children. 'Nuf said.

I have little regard for labels. They are just something that someone calls us. My name is a label. To my husband, I am Julie or Jules. To my kids I am Mommy. Different labels, same me. My eldest daughter K. is often known as "the girl who wears glasses". Last year she was "the girl with the eye patch". My younger daughter A. is now known as "that cute baby". As a newborn she was known as "the baby with the rash". In the future she will likely be known as "that kid with no teeth" or hopefully "that kid with dentures" (at which point we will be known as "that family wearing barrels"). All different labels, for a different reason.

Labels don't scare me. People using labels scare me. The best thing I've read is that a label is only harmful if it is misused. If I use his diagnosis to figure out the best way to treat him, that is using the label properly. If I say "Oh, he has ADHD" to explain why he hit a kid while not disciplining him, that's misuse. Another misuse of labels, in my opinion, is refusing to try to get a diagnosis because you don't want your child labeled. Will ignoring the problem make it go away? I don't understand. I'm not saying you have to get him or her diagnosed with something. If you think there is a problem with your child, get him evaluated. If there is a problem, get the child the help he or she needs. If not, sit back and count your blessings. Parents should be their child's advocate at all times, regardless of the outcome. You know your child, you know when something is amiss. Act on it, don't try to wish it away. I cannot imagine not having C. evaluated for ADHD any more than I can imagine not having K. evaluated for lazy eye. But I suppose it is less socially acceptable to have an emotionally and socially challenged child than a nearly-blind-in-one-eye child.

The range of potential manifestations for C.'s "label" isn't much shorter that A.'s. No two kids with their conditions react the same. No one has a problem accepting that she has a medical condition, but his diagnosis often draws challenges. Why? Because his "label" isn't acceptable in our society. Hopefully someday it will be.

Representing the People

2009-10-21T15:48:00.002-04:00

When people ask me why I'm so enthusiastic about Barack Obama, I'll show them this:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

This is an issue that's important to me and he's addressing it. I love that he's such a good husband and father. We need more men like him and BUMD in the world.

Proud Parenting Moment

2009-10-11T14:11:00.003-04:00

BUMD just handed A a banana. In typical fashion, she immediately raised to her ear and said "hello?" Looks like we're raising them right.

(Yes, she's wearing a Christmas Dress in October. You can never start celebrating too soon, at least in her world.)

Music Monday

2009-09-28T22:12:00.002-04:00

Summer is finally starting to slide into fall. The kids are back in school, the weather is almost cooperating, and heck - the calendar says it is so. There's something refreshing about fall. It's as though summer is one big free-for-all and fall is purpose-driven, but not necessarily rigid. There's still time for jumping into piles of leaves, but only after you're done with your homework.

Billy Joel's song Famous Last Words always makes me think of fall. It was his farewell to his usual songwriting, but at the same time it's a farewell to summer. "Summertime has come and gone," but "there's comfort in my coffee cup and apples in the early fall." One season ends, but the next is just as welcome. Life keeps moving on.

"Ain't it sweet after all these years"?

Inspiration

2009-09-26T14:35:00.002-04:00

Now that I've whined a bit, it's time to get back to laughing about it. Like Kirsty says on her blog: "If you don't laugh, you'll cry, and nobody likes a crybaby." True that.

I've settled for telling people that A has enrolled in the Disease of the Month Club. It's an easy answer to give to people who ask how you and the family are. I've also come up with a plan for the kid picture for the holiday card. You see, K has vision problems. C has speech problems. A's next appointment is to check out her hearing problems. Can you tell where I'm going with this? It's going to be great.

Stripes

2009-09-15T17:37:00.003-04:00

I've been staring at the title of my last entry off and on for the last month. The whole entry seems over-dramatic, except for days like today. I just got off the phone with the pediatrician (again, too many times this year) to discuss the latest zebra. Another incidental finding. Another report consisting of 'everything's ok, but we noted some things that don't belong there'. Maybe they're an issue, maybe (hopefully) not. But go see a specialist to see what (s)he thinks. We've seen this specialist before and eventually been given the all-clear. Please let it be so again.

I am so, so tired of this. All of this - the poking, prodding, what-ifs, and hopefully-nots. Thank goodness I've been blessed with a child who is able to deal with it. Just yesterday she helped convince her brother that the flu shot wasn't really that bad. "I'll go first and show you how it's done," she said. What a lovely, brave girl. Why does it always have to be her?

Zebras

2009-08-15T08:21:00.003-04:00

"When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras"

I've been struggling to find a way to explain A's tendency to come down with intriguing medical conditions. I'd already been chastised for calling her "weird" and rightly so. It's not nice to call your child "weird" even if that's an apt explanation. Yesterday, I found the solution - she's a "Zebra Collector."

According to Wikipedia, Zebra is a medical slang term for an obscure and unlikely diagnosis from ordinary symptoms. A has had more than her share of zebras. Why? Who knows. What we do know is that if someone in our family is going to have a weird illness, it's her.

Yesterday's pediatric ophthalmologist visit resulted in a "Horses" diagnosis. We love those. Dr. S has known A since she was three weeks old. She'd just been diagnosed with a rare genetic syndrome that is associated with eye problems. When I told him yesterday about A's recent diagnosis with Eosinophilic Esophagitis, he said "Wow, that's rare."

"So's IP (Incontinentia Pigmenti)," I replied. That conversation prompted him to look for the zebras, as he put it. I can't believe I didn't think of that term sooner. He's brilliant, as usual.

Looking for zebras shouldn't be routine, but in A's case it is starting to be. She's had repeated cases of having the diagnosis that one wouldn't expect. We had more cases than just the IP and EE. I can't decide which I hate more - looking beyond the usual symptoms or missing the diagnosis. For her, it's probably the latter. I just hope the other two continue to go easy on us.

Now, if I can just find a pink zebra to give her, life will be perfect.

Sweetness

2009-08-05T18:01:00.003-04:00

The best thing about having a sister was that I always had a friend. - Cali Rae Turner

A brother is a friend given by Nature. - Legouve

A just told me that she's letting C put some things he wants on her birthday list "because I'm a nice person." When she went back into the next room to check on his progress, he told her how nice she was to let him do that and she said "well, I love you."

I need to remember this when the two of them are fighting like cats and dogs.

To medicate, or not to medicate

2009-07-31T18:51:00.003-04:00

Today was the last day of camp for C. It was his first time going to day camp. For that matter, it was his first time attending anything other than school. We've never been comfortable leaving him alone with anyone who might not be capable of supervising him properly. He really can be that challenging. Also, he's such a homebody that he really isn't interested in going out and interacting with other humans some days.

Camp Shalom changed all that for us. He loved it. His only complaint is that it doesn't last the rest of the summer. We enrolled him in the two-week camp on the advice of our educational consultant, the wonderful Jill. She was, as always, right - it was exactly what he needed. Camp Shalom focuses on social skill education for kids with ADHD, Aspergers, and/or High Functioning Autism. Social skills training is so important for kids on the spectrum, because social skills are what they lack. By teaching him these skills, we can help C interact with other people more effectively.

The other thing we do to help him interact with others is medicate him. C is on two different ADHD medications - Concerta (stimulant) and Strattera (non-stimulant). This is the combination we've come up with after working with his pediatrician for several years. His pediatrician has worked with thousands of kids over the years. Out of these, he's only put eight on medication before they turned five years old. C is one of those eight.

When we tell people how old he was when we started him on medication, they're usually shocked. Most of the rest knew him before he was on the meds. Anyone who's seen him off the meds (in the morning or evening) know why he's medicated. It makes sense to them. He needs the extra help the meds give him. His impulses are controlled to the point that he can concentrate. At least, that's what I thought. When I talked to the counselors today, they were surprised to learn that he's on medication. They thought for sure that he was on a medication break. These are trained counselors with experience working with kids like him. I don't know whether to be amused or concerned. I guess concerned - if he can't concentrate with the help of medication, then what the heck do we do?

I read a great article on medication options the other day. It's a rarity to find an article discussing medications in a fair and balanced way. I'll be referring to it again in the coming weeks before school starts as we work (again? still?) to make sure C has optimal assistance in focusing on his schoolwork. I would love to be able to ditch the medication (the co-pays alone are a good reason to want off it), but I don't think it's a viable option for him. Anyone have a magic wand handy?

Music Monday

2009-07-20T19:33:00.002-04:00

This is the first song we played today and, really, it is this sort of expectation I would like to set for every day. You should always know that you are blessed and lucky.

Another day, another diagnosis

2009-07-20T14:36:00.003-04:00

If you know our family, or have read this blog often, the first thing that probably came to mind upon reading the title of this entry was "ok, what does A have now?"

If so, you're right. It's not that she's a sickly child, exactly, it's just that she seems to accumulate rare conditions at a faster rate than the rest of us. Certainly, she's had more diagnostic tests than the rest of us combined. We've started to look at it as her way of ensuring we have enough material for the annual holiday letter. What else could it be?

A had her first formal diagnosis soon after she joined us. As is often the case with her, first she had to go through a lot of testing and multiple-doctor consulting before they finally put a name on what she has. A name isn't exactly necessary, except that it gives us a way to identify the set of symptoms that she has so that we can get help treating them. The name most certainly does not define her. In fact, the only name that comes close to defining her is the nickname that her father gave her: The Reigning Queen of Pink, Grand Duchess of Fluff, and High Protector of Barbies. I suppose that calling her a "hausfrau" also works (her favorite gift ever was the vacuum cleaner her aunt gave her), but it lacks that je ne sais quoi that the other nickname has. Besides, it's spawned another nickname - her great-grandmother, also a fan of pink, is now known as the Queen Mother of Pink.

That first diagnosis was Incontinentia Pigmenti. Try saying it three times fast, or even spelling it without looking at the word. Never heard of it? You're not alone. Most doctors we see last heard of it in medical school. Whenever I encounter someone who has heard of it, I practically weep with joy because I don't have to explain it. Someday I'll write a post all about it - I've always found it comforting and fascinating to read about others' experiences with the condition. I should give back. For now, I will tell you that it means that she had a weird rash as a baby. Since then, the main effects have been cosmetic. She has alopecia (bald spots) on her crown. Most of her teeth are missing and some of those that exist are peg shaped. According to the dentist, she had 14 baby teeth and will eventually have 12 adult teeth. According to my calculations, we will need to win the lottery so that we can afford to buy her some teeth some day. To her credit, when people ask her what happened to her teeth she just tells them that mommy and daddy are going to buy her some teeth when she's older. At six, this isn't such an issue. As she gets older, she may feel self conscious. I hope not. She's fierce and we've taught her to revel in her individuality.

The next big way she made her mark was to lose a kidney. The OB swears that the ultrasound taken when I was eight months pregnant shows two kidneys. The ultrasound taken last fall only shows one. We've had her check under her bed, in the closet, etc., to no avail. Who knows. She also now has a kidney stone in that solitary kidney. We found that after she peed pink on Mother's Day of this year. After a visit to the ER, we followed up with her nephrologist. I explained that A was clearly suffering from pinkatitis. A was thrilled - even her pee is pink! I love that she finds joy in what other kids would be freaked out by. We're still monitoring/treating/pondering the kidney stuff.

While the kidney issues were ongoing, A was also complaining about stomach pain. Some were tempted to write it off as kidney stone pain. I didn't think so and luckily we have a good working relationship with her pediatricians. They ran some more tests and eventually referred her to a gastroenterologist, who ran even more. Another wonderful thing about A is that even the tests no longer freak her out. Blood tests are a piece of cake and peeing in the cup is de rigueur for a doctor's office visit.

We talked to the gastroenterologist about reflux, which didn't seem to fit. Allergies seemed more likely, except that she'd been re-tested last year and had negative skin prick tests to the foods she'd tested positive to a few years back. In the last few months, she'd been back to the allergist for a cough that disappeared once we removed soy from her diet. Before that, the allergist had her do a trial run of Zantac and took a chest x-ray as a precaution. The x-ray was clear, but showed an enchondroma (benign tumor) on her rib. We're following that with an orthopedist and wondering how she managed to develop yet another condition.

The stomach pain had kicked into high gear shortly after we removed soy and substituted lactose-free milk. We took that out and the pains subsided, but didn't go away. The gastroenterologist took all of these events into consideration, along with the negative results to the testing he'd ordered, and concluded that it would be best if we bit the bullet and had him perform an endoscopy to check out her insides.

The endoscopy was scheduled and we prepped A by telling her that the doctor would put her to sleep before he took pictures of her insides. She told me that she'd need to bring some books with her because she always reads before she goes to sleep. Seriously, I adore this kid.

The endoscopy was relatively easy. The most painful part was the $250 co-pay. The best part is that A got to see pictures of her insides, which were pink! Life can't get much better than that.

Now, I'm a research fiend. I must know everything about the topic I am obsessed with at the moment. This serves me well with her IP, since I often have to educate doctors about it. I've been asked by more than one if I'm in the field. LOL So, it shouldn't be particularly surprising that I had researched her symptoms and come to my own conclusions about what she had. The doctor seemed a little surprised when he called on Thursday and told me that A has Eosinophilic Esophagitis, and all he got in response was "ok". I eventually had to tell him that I'd done my own research, which made the rest of the conversation fairly simple.

Less simple is what follows. She has an appointment with their EE clinic to have further testing by the allergist they work with. She'll probably have to go on an elimination diet. We will certainly have to remove the problem foods completely from her diet.

Upon sharing news of her latest diagnosis with others, one response I got was 'Oh, how awful, she won't be able to eat anything' - basically, her life will suck. Sure she'll be able to eat. We'll just have to adjust the types of foods we make for her. Our food bill may suck, but her life won't. If we have anything to say about it - and we have plenty - she'll just look at this as another fun adventure. She's brought us on so many already. What's one more?

The gall, I tell you

2009-07-18T10:54:00.003-04:00

Summertime - it's our vacation, right? Not so fast. It's hard to have a fun vacation when you don't feel well. It's also hard for the kids when their parent doesn't feel well. None of this makes for a fun or even active summer break.

The day before school let out, I ended up in the ER with severe stomach pains. I thought it might be my gallbladder, but the doctor said it was kidney stones. Fine, then - off to the urologist. He said that kidney stones were an issue, but he thought that, given where the pain was, my gallbladder might be the problem. Back to square one. An ultrasound showed sludge and the urologist sent me off to the surgeon. The surgeon helpfully described it as a "sludgeball" (BUMD said that it sounded like something the kids would call each other) and said he'd remove the gallbladder. The first available surgery date was two weeks later. In the meantime, I was told to just eat a bland diet. Easy - for those not doing it.

One definition of gall is "something bitter to endure." That pretty much accurately describes living with a malfunctioning gallbladder. Eating hurts. Not eating makes me feel unwell too (although it's great for weight loss). We were supposed to meet friends for a BBQ in Canada. We'd made fun plans to tour parts of Montreal, Quebec, Massachusetts, and Vermont. All of those plans were cancelled.

Needless to say, it hasn't been a fun summer so far. However, surgery was Tuesday and I've been feeling better since. The kidney stones still need to be dealt with, but that will wait for now while I recover from round one.

Things are looking up in the kids' lives as well. C starts two weeks of summer camp next week. He should have a blast. During the second week, K is going with her grandfather to visit family friends in Colorado. She'll get to be an only child and do some hiking. She's very excited. A is excited too - during the days on the second week, she'll be an only child too. She's having fun dreaming up all of the activities she and I will get to do alone, together.

Maybe, just maybe, our real summer has just begun.

Saturday in the Park

2009-07-04T12:24:00.001-04:00

It's the Fourth of July - how can I pass up the opportunity to play this song?

2009-06-22T16:39:00.001-04:00

The Internet is really, really great for so many things. In this case, it's because I can post from my iPhone. Pretty cool.

Day of Reckoning, Final Edition

2009-06-19T03:21:00.003-04:00

"Final Edition", 'cuz I'm never doing that again. Epic fail on the weight loss plan. Clearly, declaring my intentions in public didn't make me any more likely to be successful. All in all, app. 10 lbs. down total since September. I never made it to more than 14 lbs. down during the past several months. At least I didn't gain weight. ;-)

I have learned some things about what works for me (other than not going public). I am prone to making grand plans and then dropping them if I don't follow them to a "T". I need to just settle down and focus on the basics: get healthy and fit. How I get there doesn't matter as much as if I get there.

Dairy is not my friend. I've mostly removed it from my diet and I feel better. Cheese and butter taste so good but make me feel so bad. Chocolate is also a frenemy. Despite what I keep reading, chocolate does cause acne. Within a day or so of eating it, I break out in evil cysts. So not fair.

The South Beach Diet plan is also a mixed blessing. If I follow it to the letter, I lose weight like crazy. I also feel awful and fairly deprived. I need to figure out how to customize the basic concept so it works for me. I avoid dairy, artificial flavors and colors, and artificial sweeteners. That eliminates all of the dessert options. Boo hiss.

Exercise is a good option to lose weight, but only if I do it consistently. I think what I need to do is try to become strong and healthy, instead of focusing on burning the calories. Get healthy and the weight loss will follow. Even if it doesn't, I'll still be in better shape than I am now.

The most dramatic lesson I learned recently is that, why, yes - kidney stones are more painful than labor. I've been through natural childbirth and I drove myself to the hospital when I had appendicitis. The pain I had two days ago was so bad that I was crying and unable to move until it subsided. A visit to the ER soon after brought news that I have multiple stones in both kidneys, including a 6mm one in my right kidney (where the pain was). They gave me nice drugs and a referral to the urologist. I'll see him next week. In the meantime, I've been doing a lot of reading about kidney stones. It's clear that I still have some dietary changes to make. I owe it to myself and my family to try to be healthy. Will this involve further weight loss? Probably - but you can bet I won't be talking about it until after the fact.

Music Monday

2009-06-01T21:16:00.004-04:00

On Friday, I turned 39. One more year 'til 40! Believe it or not, I'm pretty excited about turning 40. Every year, I feel a bit more comfortable with myself. 40 should be even better, right? For now, I still have to wait nearly a year to find out if I'm right.

The Wii Fit did put a tiny dent in the celebrations. It told me to not "let age get in the way." As if! Age is but a number. It's how you feel inside that counts.

The song that came to mind after that reminder was No Time at All from Pippin. I love everything from Stephen Schwartz, but Pippin was the first musical I adored. This song, in particular, fits my mood for now. A couple of quotes that I love from the play:

"Now don’t take life so seriously. Just take things as they come along. Don’t do too much planning, and don’t do too much thinking. How’s that for wisdom so far?"

and

"It’s time for me to start living...and stop worrying. Maybe that’s the secret. Just to enjoy all of the simple things in life."

So, why wait until I'm older still? Now's the time to live, and laugh, and love.

A Friendly Reminder

2009-05-21T13:12:00.002-04:00

Don't get so caught up in the 'what-ifs' that you miss what is.

This is directed at me, but I thought I'd share.

Music Monday

2009-05-18T16:58:00.002-04:00

BUMD and I will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary this Wednesday. In August, we'll celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary. Confused? Well, as usual, we did what works best for us. In this case, we had our wedding in May 1991 and a church wedding in August 1992.

The first wedding was a small, private affair - just him, me, and his best friend. Brett held the scabbard while BUMD and I jumped over the sword. We'd decided that we were committed to each other, so the marriage was official to us (albeit not legal). That was fine for the moment; my parents had already said that they wouldn't support a married student and I still had one more year of school to go. BUMD had just graduated and had work to do here in VA. We spent the rest of that year trying to spend time together at least once a month, until I graduated in May of 1992. We moved into our new apartment in VA in July.

In August, we had the official church wedding. I suppose I can't blame my parents for doubting our initial commitment. We had, after all, only been dating for three months before getting engaged. The family engagement track record wasn't too hot at that point, as my sister and brother had recently broken off long-time engagements. Our relationship was clearly different. We just were, and are, right for each other. We couldn't see a reason that we shouldn't be married, so we decided that we were. Formalizing the relationship in front of a larger audience and signing some paperwork made it official to others. Therefore, we celebrate both dates.

Since we didn't wait to get married, I never had the "Wedding Bell Blues" that Fifth Dimension sings about. That hasn't stopped me from loving the song. I was tickled to hear K singing along with it today. I've clearly been playing it enough lately.

I Want Candy!

2009-05-17T10:21:00.002-04:00

Anyone who knows me knows that the phrase "I Want Candy" doesn't leave my lips very often. "I Want Chocolate" - well, that's far more common ("I Neeeeeed Chocolate" even more so). Our family avoids food dyes and other chemicals, so most candy is out. The kids are hardly deprived - the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus bring high quality chocolate, and most Halloween candy is traded in for a toy or other present. As a result, their consumption of the usual candy you'll find in grocery stores is limited, at best.

There are, of course, exceptions. Some things just have to be experienced. Twizzlers, sadly, are out. Thank goodness I didn't make the dye=crazy connection until after K was a toddler. A steady supply of Twizzlers helped me get through grad school. Mmmmmm - strawberry twizzlers. Panda black licorice is good, but it's just not the same. I just found that they make a raspberry version - I might have to track it down.

One of the essential candy experiences takes place in the movie theatre. Sure, popcorn is great, but I want my Junior Mints. Chocolate and mint - is there a better combination? Unfortunately, I had to settle yesterday. I took the kids to see the Hannah Montana movie. K and A were excited, C less so. We got our tickets and walked up to the concessions stand in gleeful anticipation of experiencing a Junior Mint-and-Popcorn induced movie theatre coma. But - no Junior Mints! The nerve, I tell you.

K and I looked through the rest of the offerings and I decided on my next favorites - Sno-Caps. K asked what they were and I turned to her in shock. How could I have missed this part of her childhood education? It's already slightly stunted from lack of Swedish Fish and Jolly Ranchers. Sno-Caps are fairly safe (no red dye, but vanillin (synthetic vanilla - yuck!). So first I asked for one box, then decided to play it safe and get two. We made quick work of them. Even C, who mostly lacks a sweet tooth (and can eat red dye stuff without going insane), ate a fair bit. The popcorn was suitably salty and the movie was bearable. It was even quite good in some places. It gives me a lot of hope for Miley Cyrus's career beyond Hannah Montana.

I'm sure I'm horrifying the hard-core Feingold evangelists. I just prefer to do things in moderation. If it won't kill them, why not let them try it? That said, this was A's first and probably last experience with movie theatre popcorn. Midway through the movie, she started coughing. Later, she said her throat hurt, which is the same feeling I get when I consume cinnamon. She had a negative skin test to corn last year, but it looks like her allergy remains. It's the same cough she had with soy milk. When we switched to rice milk, it went away. Oh well, at least she got to experience it once. Next time, though, I'm bringing my own Junior Mints. Some things are just essential to the experience.

What Goes Around

2009-05-15T11:54:00.003-04:00

It seems like every time I check out at a store, someone asks for a donation to a charity. Homeless pets, people with disabilities (really - that's how they phrased it), cancer, you name it. It's like a gift with purchase, only it's going to someone else. I actually admire this approach, even if it's a bit overwhelming to be asked every time. I usually end up giving some small amount - it's barely noticeable to me, but if everyone does it the donations really add up.

It came as no surprise to me a couple of weeks ago when the cashier at Borders asked if I wanted to donate a book. They were collecting books for kids at Children's National Medical Center and Inova Fairfax Hospital for Children. This was a really easy sell. I am a sucker for books and A has been spending time with specialists at both hospitals. I even got to choose which book I wanted to donate. I was happy to make that donation, but a little skeptical because BUMD's cashier didn't ask him to donate (we always check out separately so we can each use coupons). I eventually shrugged it off and figured that Borders is a good business - surely someone got to enjoy those books.

Just over a week later, I got my answer. We were in Borders (again) when A had to go to the bathroom. I took her in and she decided that we should share a stall. She's six and relishes her independence, so this doesn't happen much anymore. As I was helping her, I realized that the pee in the toilet was pink. Now, she's known as the "Reigning Queen of Pink, Duchess of Fluff, and High Protector of Barbies", but this was taking her pink-love a bit too far. We headed back home in a bit of a tizzy and I made her pee in a cup so I could see for sure. Again, pink/red pee. I put in a call to her primary care, who told me to call her nephrologist, who told me to take her into the ER. Yeah, Happy Mother's Day to me. It wasn't like BUMD could take her - he doesn't do girl part stuff or needles if he can help it.

We went to Fairfax Hospital, where we stood in line for a few minutes before signing in. After waiting for a few more minutes, we were called back to the kids' triage area. From there, we were escorted to the kids ER. They found a small gown for her and then showed us to a room with a bed, rocking chair, a small TV, and the usual ER stuff. A was particularly delighted by having a gown that fit her. We keep ending up at facilities that serve mostly adults and have no child-size gown. She always looks like she's wearing a kimono. She told the nurse that she walked like a penguin in those gowns. She cracks me up.

Once she was in the gown she had to pee in their cup (and yes - I brought the pink pee with me). Of course, now her pee was clear. It figures. They tested it while she was seen by nurses and doctors. In between those exams, she got to watch TV in bed - what a treat for her! The child life specialist stopped in to introduce herself and asked if there was anything she could do to help. She then excused herself and came back with a selection of books. She told us that they had been donated to the hospital and that A could choose one to keep. Ah ha! Well, that answered my question.

Eventually, it was determined that A didn't have an infection. We were sent home and advised to see the nephrologist that week. We saw her on Tuesday. She sent A for a renal ultrasound, where they found a kidney stone. It should be no big deal, but it does explain the hematuria and perhaps the stomach cramps. We'll be keeping a close eye on things, since she only has the one kidney.

Overall, the visit to the ER was one of the best doctor's visits I've experienced. The staff was excellent, the facilities were nice, and everything went smoothly. We were home in less than two hours. Of course, the main reason is that A is not very sick. I'm exceptionally grateful for that.

We have a lot of appreciation for our good health these days. A's godmother also spent Mother's Day in the hospital with her son, who is our godson. Devin was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia in January. He entered Duke University Hospital in February and had a stem cell transplant in March. Yesterday, he was released from the hospital. He'll continue to be seen as an outpatient for a few months while they monitor his recovery. I am so, so thankful that he's doing so well. He is a fighter and we're so proud of him. We're also thankful that his parents have been taking such good care of him. They are exceptional people. A child (sorry - teenager) could not hope to have better advocates. If I can be half as good as them, my kids will be lucky. BUMD is going down to see them this weekend. We're excited that this moment has come. It's been a long winter and spring for them, but summer's definitely coming.

Yesterday was a Good Day

2009-05-07T15:30:00.001-04:00

Not a great day, but a good day full of happy-inducing, soul-satisfying experiences. It needed some help getting there, but things were going my way and I made it happen. I love days like that.

The morning routine went smoothly. DH and I were able to get some quality time in. I left to get my hair cut and realized I didn't have any cash for tips, so I stopped into Trader Joe's to get some treats and cash back. While there, I noticed a group of small children surrounding the cooking/demonstration area. They were being shepherded by none other than Mrs. W., C's kindergarten teacher. I hadn't seen her since last year (all the kids are done with preschool now), so we had a chance to hug and briefly catch up. It was wonderful to see her.

From there, I went to see David. He worked his magic and made me look great. While I was waiting (color and highlights take a while), I started craving a hamburger. I shouldn't really give in, because BUMD and I are on the South Beach Diet. By the time my hair was done, I was a goner. I decided to go for it and a few minutes and miles later I walked into Johnny Rockets. Two men sitting at the counter smiled at me as I walked in. I'm decidedly not hot these days, but the happy feeling must've shown through. I took a seat at the counter. The waiter was pleasant. The music was good. I ordered a #12 with onion rings and a vanilla coke. The coke was perfect - crushed ice and yum in a I-haven't-had-a-coke-in-oh-so-long kind of way. The onion rings were also perfect - fresh and crispy with the ideal amount of batter. Nice. The burger was good - not the thick, juicy kind I was craving, but still tasty with a good amount of mayo and sauce, crisp lettuce, juicy tomato, and tangy onion. It was a really good diet-busting lunch.

To round things out, I went to TJ Maxx to spec out a new purse. While walking there, I passed a woman sitting on a bench. She asked for money. I gave my regrets, but then decided that if I found what I was looking for, I'd give her something on the way out. I not only found a purse, but also a hat. They're set aside until Sunday now. Thus satisfied, I made good on my promise. It's not a location where people are typically asking for money - I wonder what she was doing there?

Later, I was supposed to go to a meeting but was not exactly enthused about it. I let BUMD talk me into opening a bottle of wine and staying home instead. We cooked up a steak, made a ton of veggies (mostly back on the diet track), and sat down to watch some TV with the kids. Later, we got some more quality time.

So, there you have it - the ingredients of a good day. It took a combination of good decisions and fate to make it happen. Also a little laziness and some desire for good karma. All in all, it's the best Hump Day I've had a quite a while.

Music Monday

2009-05-04T15:16:00.000-04:00

I love iTunes. I have all of my music in one place - all of the CDs in the house have been burned to a hard drive and every new one that comes inside gets the same treatment. Eventually, we'll get around to figuring out what parts of our vinyl and cassette collections will join the iTunes library. With over 16000 items in the library, there's a lot to listen to. We're fond on making playlists to suit our moods and quirks. Some days just beg for a playlist. Today, for instance, it's rainy and glum - so why not listen to songs that have the word "rain" in them? Some will make us feel better, while others just fit the mood outside. I noticed that one great "rain" song was missing from our collection. I'm rectifying it here. Garbage's Only Happy When it Rains definitely wakes me up and puts me in a better place.

Awetism Awareness Month

2009-04-30T12:41:00.002-04:00

April is Awwtism Awareness Month. Interesting how "Autism" can be spelled so many ways yet sound the same. It's fitting, since Autism presents in so many different ways. Autism Spectrum Disorders affect many people, including my son. C has High Functioning Autism. He also has ADHD (emphasis on the H). He is one of the quirkiest kids around and I love him dearly.

It wasn't always apparent to us that C was different. He was, after all, our first boy. We didn't expect him to be like his older sister. We just figured he'd be his own little self. Eventually, it became obvious that something was going on. We took him to the pediatrician, who sent us to the neurologist. The neurologist examined him thoroughly and ran some basic tests. He mentioned the possibility of autism and recommended we see a neuropsychologist for a more thorough workup. The neuropsychologist diagnosed C with a "biologically based disinhibition disorder" - in other words, ADHD. It wasn't until C was being evaluated for transition from the special needs preschool to the kindergarten that he was diagnosed with Autism. The school psychologist said he had High Functioning Autism (HFA)/Aspergers Syndrome(AS).

That's where the difficulty in understanding Autism began for us. Depending on the literature, AS and HFA are either the same or different diagnoses. The term that we've gone with is HFA because it includes speech difficulties and AS does not. C occasionally has speech problems, so HFA it is. At the time, AS had only been used as a diagnosis for 10 years. What would C have been called before then? In my childhood, he would've been the 'wild-child' or the freaky kid. More labels are available now, so we tell people he has HFA. What a relief, really - it's far easier to be the parent of a child who has Autism than one of a child who is "out of control".

There are a lot of questions we're frequently asked about Autism. Among them (and please try to remember that these are my opinions - you're entitled to your own):

Do you think it's an epidemic? No, I don't. I think there is simply more information available now that allows the diagnosis to be made.

But, there are so many more cases! See above. Also, there are higher concentrations in the high tech corridors. So many people in those fields are on the spectrum. Not all of them are diagnosed as such, but if you know the symptoms, you recognize it. If those people are having kids together, it stands to reason that some of these kids will be on the spectrum.

Do you think this is a result of vaccines? No, in most cases I don't. I think it is possible that some people are sensitive to the ingredients in vaccines and that it could cause a problem, but I don't think that it is the case for most.

Shouldn't we not get vaccinated to prevent our kids from getting Autism? No, I think that the vaccines are there to ensure the health of everyone. Sometimes, people are injured by something they come into contact with. You can't always predict it. I would no sooner ban my kids from having vaccines because they might get Autism than I would keep them from having a glass of milk because it might turn out they are allergic to it and it might kill them. Besides, I have three kids and only one with Autism. The averages are in my favor.

How has this affected your life? I think I'm more patient with people. I am more aware of different personalities and how we all interact. BUMD has mentioned that he's able to manage some employees better simply because he recognises that they are on the spectrum and he's aware of how to accommodate their quirks/needs.

Would you change things if you could? No, I don't think I would. C is an amazing little guy with a fascinating world view. He makes observations that most adults I know aren't capable of. There are little behaviors I would love to do away with, but I think I could say the same for just about anyone I've ever met (including myself).

Did you cry when he was diagnosed? No, I was too busy being fascinated by all the literature we had in front of us. I have had one good cry about it, a few years ago when I finally realized that he wasn't going to be able to do any of the things that I had dreamed for him. That moment remains one of the most liberating moments I have ever had as a parent, and possibly as a person. I had to let go of my plans and give up my expectations. C will grow up to be whoever he will be. We can teach him, love him, and influence him, but we can't make him. He just is. He will be.

So, you don't wish he was normal? Hah, no! I always tell people that I'm happy my kids aren't normal, because that's so boring. I want them to be individuals, to have quirks, to be proud of not being "one of the crowd". Sure, it's fun sometimes, but there's so much more to life than "fitting in".

What? You don't want him to fit in? Well, yes I do. We make sure the kids have basic social skills, that they are aware of popular culture and social norms, and that they have a sense of how to be a part of society. But we also spend a lot of time reminding them that every person is an individual, and that what works for one person may not work for others. In other words, Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV). Be comfortable with differences and respectful of others' beliefs. The opposite of Autism is "neurotypical". Being neurologically atypical is ok by me. Innovations are made by those who don't "fit in". If we can teach our kids to respect those who aren't like them, society will be that much better for it.

Are you neurotypical? You've made it this far and still have to ask? ;-) No, I have ADHD. I recently took an Aspie test online and scored pretty high on that. The good thing is that I'm an adult and can find my way. The hard thing is to be a kid and be quirky. I hope my kids will someday find their niche too.

There are so many benefits I reap from having an Autistic child. His emotional immaturity and lack of social awareness means that he's still ok with snuggling in public. While other 8-year-old boys are studiously avoiding their moms in public, I'm still getting smothered with hugs and kisses. Who wouldn't love that?

There are challenges too, but they're really not that much different than those faced by other parents. We have it relatively easy with C's HFA. Parents of low-functioning kids have more challenges than we do. Years ago, a friend gave me his list of rules. I still have it on my fridge and refer to it every day. Parenting a child with Autism can be challenging, but as with anything worth doing, it comes with so many rewards.

Music Monday

2009-04-27T20:38:00.000-04:00

When I woke up Friday morning, John Mayer's No Such Thing was stuck in my head. No big surprise, really. The first time I heard the song (which was followed closely by the second, and third, and many more) was when I saw the video on VH1 in the hospital just after A was born. I had ample time to watch TV - she was in the hospital for two weeks after she was born, while they tried to figure out what was going on with her health. Friday, we were back on that track yet again.

I've begun to refer to A as our "Mystery Diagnosis" child. Really, it's kind of unfair - there are other children who fit that bill better, but she is ours. Her illnesses have never been severe, just interesting enough to pique the doctors' curiosity and warrant further diagnostic tests. It's to the point now that we've at least started laughing about it - nervous laughter, to be sure, but laughter just the same.

At some point, I should probably write it all down. Today is not that day. The good news is that Friday's appointments with the pediatric nephrologist and pediatric orthopedist only resulted in appointments for follow-ups in about six months or so. Nothing major, just another "huh?" diagnosis to add to her list of "interesting" (not "weird" - she doesn't like being referred to as "weird") conditions that she has. If "huh?" is all she ever gets, that's just fine with us. There are parents out there who are facing far greater challenges with their kids. They have our prayers.

Silver Linings

2009-04-18T17:01:00.001-04:00

Some days (ok, more often than not) it's the little things that bother me. Take, for instance, shopping carts. It irks me that so many people are incapable of just cleaning up after themselves and putting away their cart. Why no, I really don't enjoy trying to put away my cart after you've left yours sideways in the shopping cart return. Would it have been so hard to just push it into line with another cart? Apparently so. Don't even get me started on the fun of throwing out someone else's trash that they've left behind in the cart. Sometimes I can skip that cart, but on high volume days (think holidays) it's just not an option. All together now - eeeeewwww.

Despite my dislike for those habits, I was grateful for them today. BUMD is tackling the lawn, so I decided to take the kids grocery shopping. C was not at all enthused with the idea. I told him if this was the only thing he didn't want to do, I'd let him stay home. Given that "I don't want to" is so often his initial reaction to many activities, I told him to suck it up and behave. Usually he gets over his initial reluctance and actually has fun. Not so today. We were standing in front of Scary Teeter, trying to decide which cart to take. A wanted to ride in one of the car carts, but they'd been left haphazardly in the sun instead of in the shady spot right next to it. Full disclaimer - the kids are 20 and 26 months apart. I took them shopping together when they were little and still managed to return the cart - hence my irritation at the lazy people.

So there we were, debating the cart options, when C said that he didn't feel good. I asked him if he was going to throw up and he said yes. I reached into the suddenly perfectly parked cart, grabbed the flier that was conveniently still in it, and held it under C's face just in time to catch the vomit. I managed to get most of it, leaving the sidewalk splattered with just a tiny bit instead of a large bio hazard zone. I really didn't want to ask their staff to clean that up. Once he was done, we headed straight back home. My shopping list had also taken a hit, so there was no sense in trying to stay. C got his way after all. It was a nice day for a drive anyway, and K offered up the airline sickness bag that she keeps in her seat area for the drive home. The fact that she has one ready should tell you how often the kids get car sick. That she still has it several months after the last plane trip shows how much things have improved in that category.

I suppose I could complain that the last customer didn't leave a bag in the cart to help me catch things, but I'll just shut up about it all now. Sometimes, the things that bother you turn out to be the things that save you. It's like a sign I have: "Life is 10% how you make it, and 90% how you take it." So, so true, especially today.

Music Monday

2009-04-13T16:11:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was Easter. It's spring, the time for renewal. Why, then, am I having so much trouble renewing my faith? I don't know how to articulate what I believe in anymore. I guess I need to concentrate on who I am instead of what I call myself.

I was baptized Catholic by parents who didn't really follow organized religion. My mother was Catholic. She went to a school run by the same nuns who had taught her mother. The nuns were young and cheerful when it was my grandmother's turn, but far less so by the time my mother was a student. I think it ruined things for her. My father was raised Episcopalian but didn't really practice. We seldom attended church. When I was 14, my sister and I started going to church with friends. After a few months of regularly attending and singing in the folk group (it was the 80s, ok?), we were ready to take the plunge. We went through RCIA classes and soon received our sacraments - First Communion for me, and both First Communion and Confirmation for her (she was about to graduate from high school). I was Confirmed a few years later.

Over the next few years, I was very involved in our parish activities. During college, my attendance was spottier. I was married in the Church by the same priest who baptized me. People who've seen our wedding album always comment about how happy Father George looked. I'm not surprised - it was a lovely, welcoming church community. I had many friends there and always felt a sense of love when I entered the church.

After getting married, I stopped going to church regularly. By the time our children were born, I'd drifted so far I didn't get them baptized. Eventually, I felt the need to bring them to church. We had them all baptized together. It was quite a sight. They began attending CCD. K received her First Communion a couple of years ago. C was due to receive his this year. I stopped taking them late last year after I was no longer able to explain to them why we believed certain things even though the Church was telling us to do something else. The term "Cafeteria Catholic" may work for some but it's darn near impossible to explain to small children, particularly those who are autistic and rule-bound.

My sister still attends church regularly. She was visiting this weekend and we had many conversations about our faith. I was relieved when I heard that she'd struggled with similar issues. Our childhood parish is very liberal. Our current parishes are very traditional. For me, the complete lack of feeling at home in my new church was the breaking point. She struggled through and is still working on things. During times like this weekend, I wish I could say the same. I miss having a spiritual home. I'd like my kids to have one. BUMD has no real interest in it, despite being raised Catholic too. I think it might be easier if I found a spiritual home within myself and then found a spiritual group that can enhance it. If I'm not feeling the love within myself, how am I to share it with others?

Many years ago, I was driving up to my home parish for Good Friday Mass. I was excited not only for the services, but because my sister was driving home from college and was planning to meet me there. I felt profound joy in church that day, for so many reasons. On the drive up (it's called Our Lady of the Mountain for a reason), I was listening to Boston. That day, the song Foreplay/Long Time reminded me of Jesus' struggle during his last days. There was just something in the music that evoked the same feelings within me that I felt when listening to the scriptures during that mass. I told my sister about it and she agreed. Of course, I had to play it first thing yesterday to commemorate that time together.

"Time doesn't wait for me, It keeps on rolling." Will I ever figure out how to roll with it?

Music Monday

2009-04-06T16:38:00.001-04:00

Some kids watch TV before school; mine usually watch whatever I put on the kitchen PC (aka 'Command Central'). Hulu is great for watching vintage TV. Pink Panther is a particular favorite. Another favorite channel is YouTube. I adore it - it's another great way of reliving my youth, until the record company executives insist that the video be taken down. One of the first videos I remember seeing was Barnes & Barnes' Fish Heads. It was weird then and it's still weird now. Needless to say, the kids love it.

Toothsome Tuesday

2009-03-31T17:38:00.000-04:00

Saturday was a ugly day - cold, rainy, and depressing. We were supposed to attend a community potluck but none of us felt much like being social. What we all needed was some good comfort food and a night in. BUMD and I got the comfort food; the kids were less convinced. I guess Shrimp and Grits is more of an adult taste. The first time I heard of the dish, I couldn't imagine how that combination could possibly work. Boy, was I wrong. It's divine. BUMD declared this to be the best version he's ever tasted. I agree - it's a keeper.

Shrimp & Grits

2 cups water
1 (14-ounce) can chicken broth
3/4 cup half-and-half
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup regular grits
3/4 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon hot sauce
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
3 bacon slices
1 pound medium-size shrimp, peeled and deveined
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup chopped green onions
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 cup chicken broth
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon hot sauce

Bring water, chicken broth, half-and-half, and salt to a boil in a medium saucepan; gradually whisk in grits. Reduce heat, and simmer, stirring occasionally, 10 minutes or until thickened. Add Cheddar and parmesan cheeses, butter, hot sauce, and white pepper. Keep warm.

Cook bacon in a large skillet until crisp; remove bacon, and drain on paper towels, reserving 1 tablespoon drippings in skillet. Crumble bacon and set aside.

Sprinkle shrimp with pepper and salt; dredge in flour.

Sauté mushrooms in hot drippings in skillet 5 minutes or until tender. Add green onions, and sauté 2 minutes. Add shrimp and garlic, and sauté 2 minutes or until shrimp are lightly brown. Stir in chicken broth, lemon juice, and hot sauce, and cook 2 more minutes, stirring to loosen particles from bottom of skillet.

Serve shrimp mixture over hot cheese grits. Top with crumbled bacon.

Serves 4

Recipe courtesy Southern Living magazine.

Music Monday

2009-03-30T20:43:00.000-04:00

This song followed me around for months before I finally caught it. I kept hearing snippets in the grocery store and stopped to listen on more than one occasion. The lyrics were intriguing. I finally thought to write down the lyrics so I could figure out who wrote it, then promptly lost the paper I wrote them on. I did it again a few months later and remembered to look it up when I got home. Good thing, too - not only do I love it, but K is also enamored. I never thought I'd hear INXS recording again, but Afterglow makes me glad they did.

Music Monday

2009-03-23T16:21:00.000-04:00

Weekend mornings tend to be fairly lazy occasions in our house. BUMD and I have a general routine of sleeping in - he gets one day, I get the other. Whoever is most awake when C wakes up takes the first day, and the one left sleeping takes the next. C is generally up first. He just doesn't need much sleep - he's often the last one up at night too. A is usually next - she goes to sleep early but will also sleep in when given the chance. K is last - she's up late reading, then sleeps in like a tweenager.

We feed the kids something basic when they first come down. Once most of us are awake, it's usually brunch time. We occasionally go out for brunch, but my new-found cinnamon allergy has dampened my enthusiasm for most brunch foods. Even if the food doesn't contain cinnamon, it still affects me if it has come into contact with cinnamon. Don't even get me started on the evil that is Cinnabon - I can't even walk near the place without getting a blast of cinnamon toxins and ending up with a migraine, at best. Waaaaah.

But I digress...we don't really need to go out for brunch. Ours is so much better. This Saturday morning, the menu was ricotta pancakes, bacon, porridge, coffee, and a bloody mary for me. Some may think of the 'porridge' as 'oatmeal', but we had brunch at the wonderful Sarabeth's last weekend. One of their specialties is porridge and I am still obsessing.

The very best part about having brunch at home is that we get to choose our own music. Our iTunes library is huge - at last count, we have nearly 16,000 items. One of our favorite playlists for weekend mornings is called "Diner Mix". It's a collection of the tunes we're used to finding on the jukeboxes in our favorite diners. All this great music and we don't even have to put a quarter in (or call someone who cares if we're still wearing our jammies). One of our favorite tunes off the "Diner Mix" playlist is The Foundations' Build Me Up Buttercup. You can't help but be cheerful when you hear it. This song and some good food will start anyone's day off right.

Music Monday

2009-03-16T16:47:00.000-04:00

BUMD and I had a great time in NYC this past weekend. His parents picked the kids up from school, which meant that we were free to leave Friday morning after dropping them off. On the way to DC to drop off the van, we were listening to the CD I burned the other day. Like many others in my car, it's labeled "misc" - in this case, it's a compilation of the various songs I've been listening to on iTunes lately. None of them make any particular sense together, although when listening to it you do get the overwhelming sense that my musical tastes were formed in the 70s. One of the songs we listened to was America's Ventura Highway. BUMD remarked that he wanted to know how the alligator lizards got into the air. That had never occurred to me before. It's a good song, great rhythm - why worry about the lyrics of most 70s tunes? I don't have access to the proper drugs to make those kinds of connections.

Still, by the time we were on the bus heading up 95 we'd already come up with several theories. We ended up revisiting this topic at random intervals throughout the weekend. It's actually a good theory to contemplate while in the Village, but maybe not so good while in the subway looking at the rats. BUMD was sooo excited to see real subway rats - he really needs to get out more. Clearly, we also need to get out more together. Give us a weekend alone to talk with no interruptions and we end up discussing alligator lizards. Deep thinkers - maybe not.

You Gotta Keep 'Em Medicated

2009-03-12T13:39:00.000-04:00

BUMD and I are taking off tomorrow for an adults-only trip to NYC to celebrate his final weekend as a 39-year-old. His parents are taking the kids for us. It's a win-win-win. I know they'll have fun together and we definitely need the time alone. It'll be an adventure for all of us - the ILs are taking the kids out to "Grandma & Grandpa's House in the Woods" - aka their place in WV. The kids love it there.

Traveling with kids is easier now that they're older. No more packs of diapers or cribs or numerous outfit changes. The kids are easily portable these days, with one exception - their medication schedule. There are mornings when I feel like a walking, talking Pez machine. K is taking three pills and one nasal spray; C is taking five pills (but soon down to two once he gets through the current bottle), and A is taking two pills, two nasal sprays, one packet of powdered medication, and one inhaler. Why do I get the feeling this is going to appear in the Holiday Letter?

Anyway, the point is that they actually need all these meds. I can generally remember to give it to them, especially now that I'm taking medication. A is really really good about reminding me if I don't. C's behavior reminds us if we don't, unless he's sick. With a bad case of the flu, his energy level finally resembles that of an average 8-year-old boy. Which is to say, energetic. Without the benefit of stimulants or sickness, he's extremely hyperactive. At a lecture last year, our pediatrician noted that out of the many kids he's treated, he's only medicated eight children before they turned five. C is one of those kids. We don't medicate him so he calms down, we medicate him so he can function. His hyperactivity gets in the way of him living like a normal child.

A takes meds for allergies and ADHD. The inhaler and powder are part of a trial we're working on for two weeks, until we see her allergist again next week. She can skip the ADHD med, but only if you're willing to listen to her talkalldaylong. If you're ok with that, have at it. I kinda like my moments of sanity, however fleeting they may be.

K can actually get away without having her ADHD meds, as long as you make sure she has her coffee. That's the thing that cracks me up - people will make comments about how they would never medicate their kids, but when you look over, their kids are guzzling Coke or Mountain Dew. Stimulants, people! Millions of adults self-medicate daily with their caffeine-laden soft drinks, coffee, or tea. But nooo, they don't take medication. Nope, don't need it. Of course not (::pats their heads::) - you're already taking liquid stimulants. Why bother with the pill form?

We started K on coffee before we decided to medicate her. Her third grade teacher had said that K was brilliant but clearly not working up to her potential. Without telling the teacher, we started giving K a cup of coffee every morning and voila - she started doing great in class. A few months later, we accidentally switched to decaf for a few days (they should be required to put the word "decaf" in large, bold lettering on the package). By the time BUMD and I figured out why we had headaches, we got a report back from K's teacher stating that K was distracted, not focusing, what was wrong?? Of course - no stimulants, less focus.

By that time, we'd also taken the girls to see a neuropsychologist who diagnosed them with attention disorders, among other things. A's genetic syndrome was the main reason we had her seen. K's visit was probably over-the-top, but since we'd also had C evaluated by the neuropsych, we figured why not? Now we're three-for-three. The neuropsych was also alert enough to note some issues BUMD was having and sent him to a neurologist, who eventually diagnosed BUMD with severe sleep apnea. Now that's a value-added service.

So now I'll end this post and pack the medication and instructions. It's a lot to keep track of, but it's still better than changing diapers. Besides, MIL loves Pez machines. She can be one for the weekend. ;-)

Music Monday

2009-03-02T23:57:00.000-05:00

I'm squeaking in under the wire with this one. ;-) I've been managing to exercise regularly for the past few weeks. One of the songs that gets me through my cardio workout is Daft Punk's Around the World. If I'm nearing the end of my workout and am ready to quit, this song always keeps me going. More than once, I've gone past my time because I couldn't bear to quit moving. It's that kind of song. It's also great for doing lunges and squats - the rhythm is perfect.

Music Monday

2009-02-23T11:14:00.000-05:00

It's the last Monday of February, a month dedicated to love. I've tried to keep up the spirit - the red-and-hearts tablecloths still graces the dining room table. It's currently adorned with an entire army of Bionicles. C love them, so I guess they're in keeping with the spirit of the month.

I couldn't let the month slip away without posting one of my favorite love songs, "I'll Cover You" from Rent. It's such a joyful, giving song. In the play and movie, the actors are so happy to be together. Despite the angst that surrounds them, Angel and Collins remain madly in love until the end. As other characters say in the song "Goodbye Love", "I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had. Someone to live for, unafraid to say I love you."

I'm lucky. I have that in my life. BUMD is a joy to be around (most days - we all have our moments). He makes my life complete. ILY Always!

Day of Reckoning, Month 5

2009-02-18T19:56:00.000-05:00

...and, by default, Month 4 (since I didn't manage to post that day). I've at least managed to lose another 3 lbs, bringing the grand total lost to 9. Not particularly spectacular for five months.

The latest weight loss (ad)venture involves giving up sugar. I may have to settle for simply avoiding it most of the time. Today, for instance, I was out running errands. I really, really wanted to stop at Subway and get an Italian sub, but I settled for going to Whole Paycheck and getting some sushi and a seaweed salad. I figured that was marginally better than eating bread and cold cuts that I know have sugar in them. It turns out that my "healthier" choice still contained sugar, both in the salad and the sushi. Going completely sugar-free is much harder than I thought.

Score card:
9 lbs down, 51 to go.

Toothsome Tuesday

2009-02-17T09:43:00.000-05:00

After last night's decision to join Kirsty in eschewing sugar, I couldn't very well post a dessert recipe today. Instead, I'm posting a well-loved recipe that I've been turning to for years. I found this in a newspaper many years ago and we printed it as part of our "For Starters..." cookbook (as in "for starters, we'll have this for dinner."). It's delicious and nutritious, and tastes almost like chicken. If nothing else, I'll now be able to find a copy of this recipe when I'm away from my own computer.

Turkey Cutlets with Black Bean and Tomato Sauce

2 1/2 TB olive oil
6 thin slices uncooked turkey breast (about 1 1/2 lbs.)
salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 green bell pepper, cored, seeded and chopped
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 cup canned black beans, drained
1 cup chopped canned plum tomatoes, with their juice
1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped (optional)

1. In a skillet, heat the oil and then lightly brown the turkey slices on both sides; remove turkey to warm plate and season with salt and pepper.
2. Stir in the onion and garlic and cook slowly for 3 to 4 minutes; add bell pepper and chili powder and cook for one minute.
3. Stir in the Worcestershire sauce, black beans and tomatoes. Bring to a simmer, cover and simmer for 5 minutes.
4. Return the turkey slices to the skillet, cover and simmer until the turkey is cooked through and the flavors have blended, about 5 to 7 minutes.
5. Transfer the turkey cutlets to a platter and spoon over the sauce. Top with sprinklings of the coriander, if you wish, and serve piping hot.

Serves 4

Momedy: Eschewing Sugar. It's time to Just Say No.

2009-02-16T21:18:00.000-05:00

Momedy: Eschewing Sugar. It's time to Just Say No.

I so needed to read this post today. Motivation at its finest. Anyone else want to join Kirsty and I in giving up sugar?

Music Monday

2009-02-16T19:16:00.001-05:00

I got rhythm, I got music...who could ask for anything more?

Some days, rhythm is all we need. One of our favorite YouTube and iTunes videos features nothing but snapping and dancing. F-U-N

The talented folks at Anaheim Ballet have been entertaining us for months now, since I discovered them through a random search. We've watched this particular video countless times and it never gets old. Some day I hope to go to California and see them live. Until then, I remain a loyal virtual fan. Enjoy this one and then go check out the rest of their videos. It'll be time well spent.

Toothsome Tuesday

2009-02-10T15:31:00.000-05:00

Valentines Day = Chocolate + Love

Now there's an equation I like. I don't need the flowers - they're marked up for the occasion and therefore BUMD isn't allowed to buy me any (none on Mothers Day either - the rest of the year is open season). Chocolate is just as festive and tastes better than flowers. Ok - this is somewhat debatable. BUMD makes an awesome Rose Petal Ice Cream. That recipe will have to wait for the summer.

One of the most decadent chocolate cakes I've ever eaten is a flourless chocolate cake. The recipe comes from the New York Cookbook by Molly O'Neill - can you tell I'm a fan? One time, BUMD made this cake and brought it into the office for someone's birthday. His then-boss, Sharon, wondered aloud if anyone else had the urge to put the cake on the floor and just roll in it. To this day, I can't think of the cake without thinking about her comment. There is no greater compliment.

Flourless Chocolate Cake

Cake:
8 oz. semisweet chocolate, chopped
8 large eggs, separated
2 TBS sugar
1 tsp. Vanilla

Topping:
8 oz. semisweet chocolate, chopped
8 large eggs, separated
2 TBS sugar
1 tsp. Vanilla

1. Preheat the oven to 350. Butter and sugar a 9-inch springform pan.
2. Make the cake: Melt the chocolate in a double boiler over hot, not simmering, water. Remove from the heat.
3. In a mixing bowl, combine the egg whites, sugar, and vanilla. Beat until stiff, but not dry, peaks form.
4. In a large bowl, whisk the egg yolks until thick. Add the melted chocolate and combine. Fold in the egg whites.
5. Pour the mixture into the prepared springform pan. Bake until just firm when gently shaken, 12 to 15 minutes. Place the pan on a rack to cool to room temperature. Expect the cake to fall.
6. Make the topping: Repeat steps 2, 3, and 4. Spread the unbaked chocolate mousse on top of the baked mousse in the springform pan. Chill for at least 12 hours. Serve with whipped cream.

Serves 16 to 20 (or 1 for rolling in).

GEMs for Kirsty

2009-02-06T14:03:00.000-05:00

Today is my friend Kirsty's birthday (Happy Birthday Kirsty!). We've been talking together on the mom's board for our eight-year-olds for nearly nine years now. In her usual kind and generous manner, Kirsty asked her friends to help celebrate her birthday by doing something to make the world better. The problem is that she asked people to post about what they were going to do and then post about what they did on her birthday. I'm great at planning but suck at follow-through. Therefore, I didn't post ahead of time. I couldn't decide what to do and if I did, I would no doubt forget to do it.

As I was running errands today, it finally came to me - for Kirsty's birthday, I'm going to get this particular blog entry idea out of my head and into cyberspace. Here it goes: to help make the world a better place (for you, for others, for Kirsty, for everyone), Go the Extra Mile (GEM). It's easy, it's free, and you don't always have to do it. Just make an effort (ME time? Unfortunately, Nike already has rights to Just Do It.).

From my perspective, being a GEM involves doing the little things - hold the door open for someone; put the shopping cart back in its place; pick up after yourself; let someone go in front of you; smile at a stranger in the mall; pay someone a compliment; thank someone for good service; anything that can make someones' day better. It's generally not a difficult thing, yet so many people seem unwilling to make even the smallest effort. We all have our days - that's a given. But, if people make the effort most of the time, the little things get done. It's the little things that matter, right?

For example, the woman in line in front of me at the store spent the entire time at checkout talking on the phone, then moved off to the side right by the carts to continue the conversation. She left her own cart in front of the register, blocking me from getting to the counter and forcing the cashier to take the time to put it away. Exactly how difficult would it have been to take the cart with her and put it away? Not at all. It was frustrating and amusing to both me and the cashier. The cashier said she sees that kind of behavior all the time. I'm not even going to get into discussion of basic manners (although, if you're interested, the Best of Craigslist has several cashier rants).

The GEM discussion is ongoing in our family, although I haven't really called it that before. I think the kids get it. They're generally helpful to each other and others. Again, they have their moments too. But, the other day K came home from school with her usual good grades/good citizen award (yeah K!). It's a nice thing to give the kids. She mentioned that another kid had received a special award for helping to stack the chairs after some event. This puzzled her - she does that sort of thing all the time and gets no special recognition, nor does she expect it. Someone has to stack the chairs, so she helps out. She was similarly surprised when she got a special shout-out for helping with the mini-swim team at practice time. Her sister is on it and she thought that, of course, older kids should help the younger ones. I am so darned proud of her, I could burst. This is the attitude we're trying to foster - if the work needs to be done, just do it. Do it without the expectation of awards, rewards, or recognition. Not every effort needs to be celebrated. Doing good should be its own reward.

That said, giving out the occasional award to someone who is "just doing their job" can enlighten others and maybe encourage them to try and do the same. The recent great works of Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberg are fine examples of how to go the extra mile. Most people are familiar with his successful ditching of a commercial aircraft on the Hudson River. Less publicized was his later call to his local library, explaining that his library book was still in the plane's cargo hold and would be late. He asked that the library give him an extension of the loan and waive the overdue fees. The library did him one better, waiving the overdue and book replacement fees, and deciding to place a dedication template in the replacement copy. The book's subject: professional ethics. Sully is a true GEM. We need more people like him.

Music Monday

2009-02-02T14:36:00.000-05:00

"Come on now, now, come on now, now. Enjoy the humor of the situation." - Barenaked Ladies

I try hard to see the humor in any given situation. It makes anything better if you can just laugh at it. Better still, laugh at yourself. Humor is the balm that softens the blows that life throws at you.

Few things aren't fair game in our house. Take our marriage, for instance. We have a great one. I've very lucky to have found BUMD - we are bestest friends and have a great partnership. We like similar things. It just works.

Still, there are some things we don't see eye to eye on and never will. We refer to those things as "next spouse" items. I will have a dog with my next spouse. He'll run for office with his next spouse. We're not being disrespectful to our marriage. We're just letting the other know that it will never happen with us. It makes us laugh to say it.

I really appreciate people who have a lively sense of humor. Barenaked Ladies is one of my favorite groups because of their ability to make me laugh mid-song. The line "I just made you say underwear" from "Pinch Me" springs to mind - you'll think twice before singing along with one of their songs. Another group I appreciate is the Los Angeles Guitar Quartet. LAGQ took on Pachelbel's Canon in D and turned it into the impish wonder known as the "Loose" Canon. You can't help but smile when you hear it. Enjoy!

So that's why he's skinny

2009-01-29T15:32:00.000-05:00

Conversation overheard:

C: "No thanks, I'm on a goodness diet."
A: "Well, can't you be on just a little bit of good and some bad diet?"
C: "No."

They're playing Lego Indiana Jones. I can only imagine what that conversation was in reference to.

Maybe I should go on a goodness diet too.

Toothsome Tuesday

2009-01-20T16:53:00.000-05:00

Since I've done so well with posting on Music Mondays [/sarcasm], I thought I'd try my hand at posting recipes and other food finds on Tuesdays. My very favorite food is chocolate, so expect to see it featured early and often. Without further ado, I present:

Katharine Hepburn’s Brownies

1/2 cup unsalted butter
2 ounces (2 squares) unsweetened chocolate
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt

1. Preheat the oven to 325.
2. Butter an 8” square baking pan and lightly dust with flour (we use the wonderful Pam Baking spray).
3. Melt the chocolate with the butter in a saucepan over low heat.
4. Remove from heat and stir in the sugar.
5. Stir in the eggs and the vanilla and mix until smooth.
6. Add the flour and salt, and stir until smooth.
7. Pour into prepared pan. Bake until a toothpick insearted into the center of the brownies comes out clean, about 40 minutes.

Makes 16 brownies
Serves 1

Adapted from the New York Cookbook by Molly O'Neill.

My Life's Work

2009-01-14T09:59:00.000-05:00

For a while now, I've been joking that when I die my headstone should read "Wipe, Flush, and Wash Your Hands!" After all, that's what I say the most. Today, I'm thinking of changing it to "Yes, I'll hold." I say that a lot too, and it's much more appropriate.

Of course, all of this should be moot because what I really want is to be cremated and have my ashes scattered on the beach (either Down the Shore or somewhere on OBX). Forget the headstone, just plant a tree in my memory. I'm hoping no one has to do this any time soon. There's still a lot to be done.

Music Monday

2008-12-29T22:45:00.000-05:00

I almost didn't post today, but then K just came down and inspired me. BUMD and I were flipping through the channels and landed on a show featuring Pink Floyd. Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 was playing. Her response was similar to the last time she heard it: “Is this Kids Bop or something, except without the bad singing?”

Kids these days, sheesh. Clearly, we need to further her musical education.

Happy Holidays to All!

2008-12-25T00:05:00.000-05:00

I was paying for my purchases at Restoration Hardware the other day when another customer approached the register. The cashiers said "Merry Christmas" and the OC responded that she was so happy to hear that because no one says "Merry Christmas" anymore and what a shame that was, etc. The cashier said that they love Christmas and I said that I loved Christmas too, as well as Hanukkah, Solstice, Kwanzaa, and all of the other holidays people are celebrating this time of year. That's why I wish people "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". I think it's respectful of the diversity, rather than ignoring one holiday, as some people seem to think is the case.

At any rate, here's our holiday letter. Enjoy!

Music Monday

2008-12-22T18:04:00.000-05:00

Among other things, 2008 will go down as the year I finally discovered Jason Mraz. Despite having his music in my iTunes for the past few years, I only started listening to his songs in Feb/March of this year. I started with "Geek in The Pink", quickly moved on to "I'm Yours", and followed that by buying almost everything else he's done. Mraz has become one of my 'Phone Book people' - those who I would listed to even if all they were doing was reciting listings from the phone book. His voice is fantastic. It's only fitting that the last Christmastime Music Monday feature his version of "Winter Wonderland". Enjoy!

Growing old gracefully

2008-12-20T13:22:00.000-05:00

We were just discussing tonight's trip to see The Polar Express in IMAX. C, who is ever jaded, allowed that "there are a few inches of my heart left" for the movie. I love him.

Day of Reckoning, Month 3

2008-12-18T16:38:00.000-05:00

Three more pounds down, for a grand total of six in three months. Not exactly stellar, but I'm ok with that. With all the holiday "cheer" that's going on this time of year, I'm surprised I'm not up three instead.

Grand total so far: 6 down, 54 to go.

Music Monday

2008-12-15T13:10:00.000-05:00

My family spends a lot of time being flippant about most things in life - the holidays are no exception. There's nothing quite like a funny holiday song to get things going. There are plenty of them - Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer and Adam Sandler's Hanukkah Song get a lot of air play. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus is a standard as well, but the appeal of the updated version, I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus, is increasing (Santa and Daddy are clearly gay, therefore Santa must support gay marriage, right? Who wants to go against Santa?).

BUMD and I tend to skewer other songs as well. We love singing these lyrics, taught to us by a friend's girlfriend many years ago, to the tune of Carol of the Bells: "Just go away, leave me alone, I'm doing fine, don't bother me. Have yourself a very Merry Christmas somewhere else!" BUMD has also done his best to make me snicker every time I hear another one of my favorites, Vanessa Williams' version of Baby It's Cold Outside.

Here's one of his other favorite holiday tunes, Tom Lehrer's I'm Spending Hanukkah in Santa Monica.

Music Monday

2008-12-08T15:52:00.001-05:00

We put up our Christmas tree the Sunday after Thanksgiving. In accordance with tradition, we couldn't actually decorate it that day. No, things around here seem to have to age for a while before they can be dealt with. Kinda like the router we got a few years ago - BUMD finally put it into action a few weeks ago. The practice of letting things age is neither intentional, practical, nor necessary, but it is certainly a household tradition.

A week later, we finally got around to decorating the tree. We put the music on and made the tree extra beautiful. I've never been a fan of colored lights or fake trees. However, that all changed a few years ago when we got our current tree. It is beautiful just standing there.

One of the first songs I put on was "I believe in Father Christmas" by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. It is beautiful and haunting. They've released a couple of versions of the song, as well as Greg Lake's solo version. This particular version is my favorite. It took a bit of searching to find it on YouTube. Fortunately, the search also turned up U2's cover of the song. It's gorgeous. Enjoy!

ELP

U2

Music Monday

2008-12-01T17:50:00.000-05:00

It's Christmastime!

The kids keep asking me if it's Christmas yet. While the actual event doesn't take place until December 25, Christmastime officially starts around noon on Thanksgiving day. Why noon? That's when Santa appears during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in NYC. That's how I've always timed it - your mileage may vary. Certainly retail stores' times vary. Target had its displays up before Halloween. That's just wrong.

The best part about Christmastime is that I finally get to listen to songs I only hear once a year. Maybe that's why most of them stay so popular - a month isn't nearly enough time to get sick of them, and then you have almost eleven months to forget all about them.

My all-time favorite Christmas song is "Sleigh Ride." My favorite version of this song was performed by Arthur Fiedler and the Boston Pops. It's a classic. Some inventive (and surely driven) person put together this video. Watch and enjoy (and marvel at the time it must have taken).

Music Monday

2008-11-24T07:57:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving is this Thursday. With it comes the predictible long drive, fun (hopefully) family gathering, and the annual playing of Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant. It just wouldn't be Thanksgiving without it.

Of course, Music Monday isn't nearly as much fun without the video but they disabled embedding. You'll have to click on the link to see that one. Party poopers - it wouldn't be Thanksgiving without them either, I suppose. It's like the cranky relative who complains about the cranberry sauce. We took care of that one the other night. I love having Thanksgiving leftovers. If we're going to someone else's house, I don't get any. So, I solved this problem by making my own T-Day dinner. This year, we were lucky enough to have K's best friend and her parents join us. It's like having relatives that you choose. No one missed the cranberry sauce, either, because we cleverly substituted this:

Happy Thanksgiving!

Day of Reckoning, Month 2

2008-11-18T19:12:00.000-05:00

Move along, folks - nothing to see here.

See, this is why I generally don't tell anyone that I'm trying to lose weight. I suck at the follow through.

The only thing I manged to do was meet with one of the trainers at the rec center to set up a weight lifting program. As soon as that was accomplished, I promptly came down with a nasty cold and haven't been back since. I did manage to do a TTapp video (Hit the Floor) yesterday. I'm going to try to do it every other day to see if I can get any positive results with my pelvic floor issues. I'm due to see the urogynecologist next month to see if we can get those sorted out yet again. Fun.

The problem with exercising regularly is that I'm fantastically uncoordinated. Don Quixote tilts at windmills; I tilt on treadmills. I have a really hard time walking in a straight line and not falling off those things. The Nordic Track we have at home is even more problematic - not only do I have to move my arms and legs in different directions at the same time, but I have to do so without falling sideways. Not a pretty sight. (Bonus points are issued for not hitting the cats or kids with the skis - if you think this is easy, you clearly have neither.)

If walking is problematic, aerobics and yoga are even more so. I just can't get the hang of coordinated movement. Yoga is easier, but not problem-free. My tree pose looks like the tree is in the middle of hurricane force winds. I have, however, mastered the corpse pose.

So, the scorecard - 0 pounds down, 57 more to go.

Music Monday

2008-11-17T20:16:00.000-05:00

Lately, we've developed a (semi-unhealthy) obsession with Pocky. If you've never heard of Pocky, just remember that it rhymes (sorta) with "yummy". That's really all you need to know. I've found Pocky at all of the local Asian groceries, Wegmans, and World Market. They are also available online. You can even buy them at Think Geek - now that's a product endorsement.

what flavor pocky are you?
[c] sugardew

We're clearly not the only ones obsessed with this Japanese snack, at least according to my Google results. There are entire blogs devoted to Pocky's goodness. It comes in enough flavors that there is at least one quiz to determine what flavor of Pocky you are. According to this quiz, I'm a chocolate pocky. In addition to loving chocolate, the description of being "More or less 'normal'" is pretty accurate too. BUMD likes the almond crunch ones, and the girls favor the pink, strawberry flavored Hello Kitty Pocky. The fact that they manage to make them pink without red dye makes me an even bigger fan.

I'm fairly certain none of Pocky's other fans walking around singing, "Pocky pocky pocky I can't let you go." BUMD and I do it often. You can too, if you make the appropriate word substitutions to the chorus of the song "Candy". It's by Iggy Pop featuring the B52's Kate Pierson. It's a cool and catchy song by itself, but far more fun the way we sing it. Listen for yourself:

Music Monday

2008-11-10T14:29:00.000-05:00

My Schwartz obsession continues - today's Music Monday features a song from Godspell. By K's request, we watched the movie together last Friday for our movie night. This choice had some repercussions for her later that evening. It also influenced the musical choices for this weekend. It's a little odd to hear High School Musical songs mixed with Godspell, but not entirely atypical in this household. Weirder still was listening to C intersperse his Bionicle play with Godspell lyrics. This isn't the first time he's done it, but it never ceases to weird me out a bit. Certainly, the Gospel According to C isn't quite what St. Matthew had in mind.

But getting back to the main goal of this post - my selection for Music Monday is Beautiful City from Godspell. The song has an interesting history. Apparently Stephen Schwartz decided at some point that the original lyrics were too sentimental. He rewrote the song for a new production of Godspell and then added more lyrics for yet another production. While I respect his decision, my heart lies with the original song that I grew to love after seeing the movie on TV while in high school (long after its original theatrical release).

However, the updated lyrics have taken on greater meaning to me in the past week. They speak to my hopes for Barack Obama's presidency. It seems like such a positive change for not only our country but for the rest of the world. Together, we can build such a beautiful city. In the words of Obama and Schwartz - "Yes, we can."

Beautiful City:
Out of the ruins and rubble
Out of the smoke
Out of our night of struggle
Can we see a ray of hope?
One pale thin ray reaching for the day

We can build a beautiful city
Yes, we can; yes, we can
We can build a beautiful city
Not a city of angels but we can build a city of man

We may not reach the ending
But we can start
Slowly but truly mending
Brick by brick, heart by heart
Now, maybe now
We start learning how

We can build a beautiful city
Yes, we can; yes, we can
We can build a beautiful city
Not a city of angels
But we can build a city of man

When your trust is all but shattered
When your faith is all but killed
You can give up, bitter and battered
Or you can slowly start to build

A beautiful city
Yes, we can; yes, we can
We can build a beautiful city
Not a city of angels
But finally a city of man.

The original movie version:

Music Monday

2008-11-03T17:24:00.000-05:00

Friday, we had a triple holiday - Halloween, K's 10th birthday, and my 10th anniversary of becoming a mom. It seems like only yesterday that the midwife was late and flustered because she'd been rear-ended by Snow White while on her way to the hospital.

To celebrate her entry into the double digits, K and I had a girls' weekend in NYC. The highlight of our adventures there was seeing her first Broadway show. In honor of her status as a Halloween baby, and owing to my lifelong obsession with Stephen Schwartz musicals, we saw Wicked. It was excellent.

There are so many of Schwartz's songs that have shaped my life - Day by Day from Godspell, Corner of the Sky from Pippin, and For Good from Wicked, to name a few. For Good exemplifies my relationship with my family - because I know them, I can say that I was changed for the better, and I most certainly have been changed for good. The song never fails to bring me to tears; even now, just typing the name is making me tear up.

The soundtrack version, with photos:

If you want to watch the stage production:

Snopes is my friend

2008-10-28T16:29:00.000-04:00

"Everybody has opinions: I have them, you have them. And we are all told from the moment we open our eyes, that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. Well, that's horsepuckey, of course. We are not entitled to our opinions; we are entitled to our informed opinions. Without research, without background, without understanding, it's nothing. It's just bibble-babble."
--Harlan Ellison

I love Snopes and FactCheck. They do the research for me so I don't say too many stupid things. (I still say my fair share, and sometimes more.) I really, really wish others (those who shall not be named yet are still related to me) would do the same.

Making us Proud

2008-10-28T12:54:00.000-04:00

It actually takes very little to make us proud. K, C, and A are smart, witty, beautiful kids. They're always doing something interesting in their lives. Whether that makes BUMD and I happy or bewildered is another matter entirely.

Last night, we were eating dinner downstairs and watching TV. I know, bad parents - but we're watching things together, so it's a family dinner of sorts. The first two things we watched were short pieces put out by Barack Obama's campaign - the sort of feel-good infomercials that let you know more about the candidate. One of the things featured in both was Michelle Obama saying that she initially thought "Barack Obama" was a weird name. K turned around and said to us, "What's so weird about being named Barack Obama?". This is a kid who's being raised in Northern Virginia. People who live here come from all over the world. Even amongst the US-born folk, there's a large representation of people who have lived across the globe - govvies, foreign service members, military families, to name a few. NoVa is also a metropolitan area and every group lives in a higher concentration then, say, the small town in NJ where I grew up. The kids spend time with people from different cultures daily - that is one of our reasons for raising them here, no matter how bad the traffic sucks.

I've often claimed that the thing that would weird them out the most would be stepping into a classroom filled with only US-born, Caucasian students and staff. None of our kids have ever experienced that. Instead, they've grown to expect diversity in their lives. Being named something as unfamiliar as "Barack Obama" doesn't mean the person is weird; they're simply named something you haven't heard of yet. It's just a name, it doesn't define the person. When K made that comment, we knew she got it. Or maybe she didn't get "it", simply because the question never entered her mind. Being different is normal, not something to be feared. I hope that's the case.

I have a sign on the wall above one of my desks - "Life is 10% how how make it, and 90% how you take it." That really sums up how I should be viewing things, although at times it is difficult to process. Never was that sign more appropriate than last night. I was collecting the upstairs garbage. I reached into C's garbage can and came up with...wet stuff. That smelled like pee. I promptly yelled at him and then yelled for BUMD and explained that since he was a boy and C was a boy, they should have this discussion. C ended up having to clean the trash can and getting grounded from video games and movies for two weeks. BUMD was left trying to remember where he peed at that age. Boys, ewww.

Later on, BUMD pointed out a few very important observations. First, C opened his flip-top trash can and peed in it - so, he can pee standing up. Not a huge accomplishment for most kids, but we've been working on this with him forever. Autism can be weird like that. Next, DH had noticed the day before that C's room smelled strange, but C denied any issues. So, now we know he can lie too. That skill also took forever to develop. He tends to be very blunt and truthful. Not that I want him to lie, but it's nice to know that those processes are working. So, yes, we're proud of those developments. I just wish they'd manifested themselves differently. Some days, you just take what you can get and make the best of it.

Obviously

2008-10-22T12:23:00.000-04:00

C is rapidly developing an obsession with comic books. He devours them, which makes them a good bribe for just about anything. I'm also enjoying one comic in particular - Captain Obvious. It's as snarky as I am and at the same time reminds me to reign myself in sometimes. When someone asks for an opinion, I sometimes forget:

This is important for me to remember, because my general attitude is:

But most people's comprehension level is:

In short, it would behoove me to consider the request, smile, nod, and delete. Some days, that's the best opinion I can offer.

Day of Reckoning, Month 1

2008-10-18T15:07:00.000-04:00

Soo, it's the 18th. Already. So many days, so few pounds lost - three, to be exact. Not exactly a stellar showing in the weight loss category. Still, there's been some improvements. I have:

dramatically reduced the amount of sugar, dairy, and caffeine that I consume.

finally got around to getting the baseline mammogram I was supposed to schedule more than a year ago (all clear!).

made it to the psychiatrist, who confirmed that I have ADHD (shocking! Not.). We're working a a game plan to help me get my act together. I do so well with everyone else, so poorly with myself. Pfft.

finally started getting allergy shots and taking medicine that helps me breath like a regular person. I can't remember the last time I was able to breath in the fall.

gotten a flu shot for myself and the kids.

avoided completely stress eating through the whole "where's Waldo"-esque adventures with A's kidney.*

These are all fairly positive steps. I'm sure there's a few I left out, but K just came up to talk to me and I completely lost that train of thought.

I think the next step is to regularly exercise. To quote Nike's ad campaign, Just Do It. I suck at just doing it. Somehow, I need to make myself just do it. I guess that'll be the foundation for next month's post.

Score card:
3 lbs down, 57 to go.

* In my defense, I feel that downing an entire Toblerone bar is a proportional response to a doctor doing the ultrasound telling me that she cannot locate my child's left kidney, particularly given that the ultrasound tech who did my prenatal scans found both of them a month before A was born. I understand that kids tend to lose stuff, but a major organ is pushing it. Eventually, we'll either locate it, find out what happened to it, or go broke buying chocolate.

Dietary Diversity

2008-10-10T14:00:00.000-04:00

There are times that I fancy myself to have a fairly diverse diet. Then I go out shopping and realize I eat a relatively limited diet. Case in point - I went to the Lotte market today to pick up some bento supplies. There are few things there I have tried and many, many I never have and possibly never will. It's more than a bit intimidating to shop there, but so much fun. Not as much fun as the Great Wall Market, though - Lotte seemed to lack the live frogs and turtles in the fresh fish section. I suppose you can't have everything. ;-)

Anyway, my shopping adventure this morning reminded of a meme that I saw on Wrekehavoc's page last month. I haven't even heard of some of the things on the list.

The rules:
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk/ linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borsch
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
~~26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper~~
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi (does mango lassi count?)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (cognac yes, cigar ewwww)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
~~42. Whole insects (unless you count my unintentional inhalation of bugs.)~~
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (vodka, yes)
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Breath In, Breath Out

2008-10-02T08:16:00.000-04:00

Breathing is important. It's also kind of nice, depending on how the air smells (use your imagination). We've been talking a lot about breathing lately, from telling C to take a deep breath and pleasecalmdownNOW to telling K to take a breather from her homework (so much more in fourth grade than there was in third).

BUMD has been taking a lot more breaths lately. A couple of weeks ago, he got the results of his sleep study and now he's finally hooked up to a CPAP machine. It's not nearly as bad as I had imagined. In fact, it's almost restful for me - kinda like a gray noise machine (too much noise to be white). It's apparently a lot easier to sleep through what sounds like a wind storm outside than it is the sound of your beloved spouse waking up multiple times a night. According to the sleep study results, he stopped breathing 50+ times an hour. That's right - the same hour that has 60 minutes. No wonder he always had bags under his eyes.

Of course, this is our house. Everything is fodder for a good laugh. By way of telling the kids about Daddy's new machine, he's taken to putting on the mask and stalking them while chanting "Luke, I am your father." This worked well until last night, when I had to tell him that he really resembled Snuffleupagus. How far we fall.

As a side note, I tried to embed this video, but they have embedding disabled. Bastards.

The Internet Family Reunion

2008-09-15T10:51:00.000-04:00

I am blessed to be part of an internet-based mothers group. That could probably be read two ways – we are internet-based moms (true!) and we are part of a group that meets on the internet (also true). The Internet is for many things, but one of my favorite parts is community building. I’m an XNFP and a Gemini. On any given day, I can be either an Introvert or an Extrovert – and sometimes a little in between. The Internet allows me to switch between the INFP and ENFP personalities fairly seamlessly. It’s a blessing to me because it allows me to be present without the whole social anxiety issue taking over.

It is also a blessing to get to know so many wonderful people. Many people say that the Internet is causing people to be increasingly isolated from each other. How can that be possible, when every day people gather in chat rooms and on message boards to share their lives with each other? My life has been enriched and enlarged by being a part of these groups. People I would not have otherwise met are now a part of my circle of friends. Facebook has also brought me back in touch with old friends from high school and college. Email allows me to stay in touch with friends and family. SmugMug gives me a place to share my pictures (when I remember to upload them). Blogspot and LiveJournal give me a place to post my opinions. All of these things could be accomplished without the Internet. It just makes it so much easier to do them and to share them with others.

So how can the Internet be a bad thing? Consider this: my heart is heavy today, and it is all the Internet’s fault. If the Internet didn’t exist, I would never have gotten to know Stacey McDaniel. I would never had experienced her courage, love, and strength. I never would’ve laughed at her stories or cooed over pictures of her children. I never would’ve prayed fervently for her during her long battle with brain cancer. I never would have been sitting here thinking of her children’s future without her.

Stacey is one of the gutsiest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. She never let things get her down for long. Her attitude will always inspire me. She was so tough, so strong, so loving that it seemed she could conquer anything. So now, I prefer to believe that the brain tumor didn’t win – she won. How could she not? She was Superwoman to me and so many others. A community that would not have existed without the Internet is grieving. We are, in a way, a family. Some have met in person, others not. Yet the power of friendship and community holds us together. Stacey was a part of that family. She is greatly missed.

When I heard the news of Stacey’s passing, I could not help but think of another member of my Internet family. Kathy Woltman was a member of the November 98 Topaz Treasures, my very first Internet moms’ group. The group has since disbanded, but I still think of it often. It’s easy – it was such an integral part of my first years as a mom. Kathy was an inspiration and a life-saver for me. I was having my first baby; Kathy, her fourth. She had a lot of experience and was always willing to share it with the rest of us. Moms groups are a lot like any other family – we laugh, we cry, we fight, we learn, and we love. We lean on each other a lot.

After Kathy had her fourth, she experienced her first bout of post partum depression. At the same time, I was going through my first. I was in denial, Kathy tackled hers. We both made it through. More importantly, Kathy once again shared her experience. Her willingness to describe her experience in detail and to post it on the Internet helped me to recognize what was going on after I had my second child. I got help that time, and the next time. Kathy’s words inspired and comforted me. It hurts my heart and soul to know that ultimately we couldn’t do the same for her.

Not too long ago, I read one of those “Chicken Soup for the Soul” stories. In it, someone’s friends had died. The person eventually made it beyond their grief by deciding to live for her friends, because they did not have the opportunity.

“We who must remain, go on living just the same. We who must remain, go on laughing just the same.” The Eagles, “My Man”

So, no – the Internet is truly a blessing. Without it, I would never had gotten to know these two incredible women and my life would be so much smaller and darker – if it existed at all. May God bless Stacey and Kathy – you’ll be in my heart forever. Amen.

Exercising my options

2008-09-09T11:32:00.000-04:00

This morning, I made good on my promise to start working out this week. After 40 minutes on the treadmill, I am flush with endorphins and lofty goals. So, here it goes - between now and when school ends on June 18, I plan to lose 60 pounds. That's 40 weeks - less than 2 pounds per week. That will bring me back into a healthy weight range. I'm not going to post my starting weight now. I just can't bring myself to do it yet. Maybe later. I will try to post my progress on the 18th of each month. I have the time to exercise and make healthy meals. I also have the responsibility to myself and my family to be healthier than I am now. So, here goes nothing - or maybe quite a lot.

Music Monday

2008-09-08T18:14:00.000-04:00

Stef asked what music is moving people today. Today, as on so many days from the past several months, it's Jason Mraz. BUMD and I were watching Mraz's performance on Bonefish Grill's Notes from the Road last night. The show mixes musings from the artist with live performances. Last week's Ben Folds performance was full of quirky genius; Mraz's show was more philospohical. He described the opening number, Make it Mine, as a montage of his life. It's very positive and uplifting, and is one of my current favorites. The lighthearted and goofy video underscores the song's message - Carpe Diem. I love, love, love this:

Shhhhhhh...

2008-09-08T11:41:00.000-04:00

The kids are all at school and the house is mine. MINE. There's a word I don't hear very often anymore. They've all grown out of that lovely stage and into others. I tell myself that if they ever stop that progression, we're in trouble. There's only one thing that stops progress and I hope not to see it anytime soon.

The first week of school went well. Lots of form to be filled out. Paperwork makes the world go around. Do I really need three copies of the school handbook? What a waste of paper. To counteract that, I've spent part of this morning decreasing the number of catalogs that come in the mail. I read everything online anyway. What's the point of wrecking the mail lady's and garbage guys' backs?

Not that the house is silent for long - the dishwasher, washing machine, and dryer are currently running. The kids get out of school early on Mondays to allow time for teacher planning, so they'll be home soon for a quick break before heading back out to CCD. We're actually fairly unscheduled compared to many families. I can't handle the constant travel that lots of activities involve. The kids aren't complaining either, so I'm not too worried. They may curse me later in life, but they'll have to do that in their own blog - this one's MINE. Hah!

Cinnaminnadingdong

2008-09-05T20:44:00.000-04:00

As part of having more "me" time, I'm doing some things to take better care of myself. Next week, I'm going to try to establish a regular workout routine. I've tried and failed to do that countless times before. Actually, I have succeeded - I just don't tend to stick with it for very long. This time may not be any different than prior attempts, but at least I'm trying again.

Another thing I did was to finally get to the allergist. I live in the DC area - allergies are a given. That's what we get for living on a swamp. When I was a teenager, I used to get allergy shots. Things got better until I moved to this area. Since then, I've tried many different kinds of allergy remedies with varying results. Every spring and fall, I swore I was going to go to the allergist and get some serious help. My youngest has been going to an allergist for a few years due to her food allergies. Her allergist's nurse practitioner, after listening to me sniffle, even suggested that I schedule an appointment. Suggestions and thoughts are good, but actions are a little harder to come by. Throw in an HMO and delays are inevitable. Needless to say, the sniffling went on for quite a while. Like I said - it's not exactly an atypical condition in this area.

What was atypical, was my reaction to cinnamon just over a month ago. Did you know that most cinnamon isn't cinnamon at all? It's cassia. This is what I get from watching too much Alton Brown. If you've never tried his cinnamon bun recipe, you should. They're divine. Just don't feed them to me. I love them, but I love breathing even more. Silly, I know.

So there I was, eating a late night snack of cinnamon toast. This time, I used some of the newly purchased "Saigon Cinnamon". It's pricey, but I'm a sucker for new things. Why not taste "real" cinnamon? Evidently, my body didn't agree. First, I noticed my throat itching. I tried drinking some water. When that didn't work and my head started to feel congested, I took two Benadryl. Soon, I started having problems swallowing and started wheezing. I asked the BUMD to get me the Primatene Mist inhaler that I was sure was in the closet. Oops, threw it out while I was decluttering (Darn you, Fly Lady!). He handed me the phone and then ran out to buy another one. While he was gone, I felt pretty bad - I'll spare you the details. By the time he got back, though, the Benadryl had kicked in. It is a testament to the power of Benadryl that the Primatene Mist didn't make me the least bit hyper. I take one Benadryl to sleep. Two - zombie time.

Now, why didn't I call 911 or go to the ER? Looking back, I'd say pure stupidity. Anaphylaxis is nothing to mess with. That said, it was after 11, the kids were in bed, and I was in denial about how bad things were getting. Luckily, it all ended well.

But, really - a cinnamon allergy? I've been eating cinnamon my entire life. Why would it start now? Skeptic that I am, I decided to test it again a couple of days later. I made a paste of cinnamon and water, and rubbed it on my wrist. Within a few minutes, the area was red, raised, and itchy. No denying that (at least not for long, since I took two more Bedadryl). The next day, I had an appointment to see my primary care doctor and got an inhaler, an EpiPen, and the all-important referral to the allergist. Fast forward one month, and I now know that I'm allergic to several trees and grasses. I didn't test positive to any foods. I guess that makes sense, given that cinnamon/cassia is a (very yummy) tree bark.

For now, I'm going to start getting allergy shots again. I'll also keep trying to avoid cinnamon. Evidently, it's only very bad for me in heavy doses. I slipped up the other day and had a pie with graham cracker crust, forgetting that graham crackers usually contain cinnamon, and ended up with a nasty headache. Avoiding pies should probably be on my list anyway, if I'm going to be dieting and exercising. Speaking of dieting, I recently read an article that said cinnamon would help weight loss. I think that's more weight than I want to lose. There's always a catch. Sigh.

My Karma sucks

2008-08-30T16:51:00.000-04:00

This is hardly a revelation - my karma has always sucked. Ask, and ye shall receive - no sooner did I finish musing about what I was going to do with my "free" time than I received my marching orders: remodel the bathrooms. I already knew that the downstairs one needed help. The soap dish is loose and therefore allowing water into the wall behind it. Not a good situation. Solution - take showers upstairs. That gives me time to address the lack of funds for a real remodel.

Not so fast. Or, maybe - faster still. Getting back to my karma - I finished my postings, then went to take a shower. As I made my way back to our bedroom downstairs afterwards, I realized the hallway floor was wet - too wet to be from wet footprints. I peered into the downstairs bathroom only to find it very, very wet - from the ceiling. Something is leaking from the upstairs bathroom. It seems like my work it cut out for me after all.

I mused to BUMD that perhaps my prior post was responsible for this occurrence - if I got a paying job, we could afford to have the bathrooms fixed by someone else. He looked at me, cocked an eyebrow, and said, "Well, you're a home builder, right?"

Oh.

Right.

On with the show....

The Last Weekend before The First Week

2008-08-30T15:01:00.000-04:00

This is it - my last weekend as the mom of three kids at home. As of Tuesday, all three kids will be in school full time. K is going into fourth grade, C into second, and A is starting kindergarten. For the first time since, um, ever? - I will have uninterrupted time to myself. I have no current intention to go back to a paid job. Therefore, the time is "mine" - I get to decide what I am doing. Anyone who has ever been a "housewife" (ugh), "homemaker" (do I look like a builder?), or "unemployed" (since when was running a household not work?) knows that there will still be quite a lot to do. It's just that I now get to decide what to do and when to do it, and to spend more than an hour or so on the project.

I was a "working mom" from when K was born in 1998 until C was born in 2000, at which point I became a "stay at home mom" (SAHM) since C was born in 2000. I've done some paid consulting work since then, but most of my efforts have been geared towards the kids. From my POV, the only major difference in how this role change affected my kids was that I quit outsourcing the daytime childcare. All moms work hard, regardless of whether they have an income that the IRS recognizes. Before C was born, I was dual-income. Now I just get a single income - I am paid in hugs and kisses. Any money I get comes from the BUMD. As far as he's concerned, I am more than earning it by making sure all of our lives go smoothly. Between his often-crazy schedule, three kids with ADHD, one who also has Autism, and another who also has a rare genetic condition, and Moi, this is no mean feat. But that's my job, and I signed up for it.

Sure, there are people with more complicated lives. Bless their hearts, but I'm not writing for or about them. This blog is just about me, my family, and my next step in motherhood. I've survived Mom 101, the little kids at home years. Now, I'm on to Mom 102 - everyone's at school most of the time. Hopefully, I'll someday be writing about Mom 103 - the empty nest years. And maybe, just maybe - Mom 104, the grandparenting years. That's to be determined by the kids. No pressure to have grandkids - that's perhaps the greatest gift our parents gave us, and look what they got in return: